


Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

by steeleye



Series: Military Faith. [14]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Wizard Of Oz (1939)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Crossover fi, F/F, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-25 06:50:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12030471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steeleye/pseuds/steeleye
Summary: A 'Military Faith' story; Oz is in for a terrible shock, when Chief Warrant Officer Faith Lehane, US Army Rangers and Lt Cordelia Chase, USMC, crash land on top of a witch. Death and destruction follow in our hero's wake as they try to get home.





	1. Chapter 1

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

By Steeleye.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or 'The Wizard of Oz' (film version). I write these stories for fun not profit.

 **Crossover:** The Wizard of Oz, 1939 movie.

 **Spelling, Punctuation, and Grammar:** Written in glorious UK-English which is different to US-English.

 **Timeline:** A Military Faith story set in mid 2010.

 **Words:** Thirteen chapters of 2500+ words.

 **Warnings:** Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

 **Summary:** A 'Military Faith' story; Oz is in for a terrible shock, when Chief Warrant Officer Faith Lehane, US Army Rangers and Lt Cordelia Chase, USMC, crash land on top of a witch. Death and destruction follow in our hero's wake as they try to get home.

0=0=0=0

_Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high  
There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby.  
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue  
And the dreams that you dare to dream,  
Really do come true.* ___

____

__*: Somewhere over the Rainbow: E Y Harburg, Arlen Harold._ _

__**Five-Hundred Feet Above Kansas, May 2010.** _ _

__“You okay, L-t?” Faith grinned._ _

__“Yeah, why’d you ask?” Lt Cordelia Chase, USMC, replied as she piloted the OH-6 ‘Loach’ helicopter towards Springfield airport._ _

__“It’s just that ya look a little peaky, is all,” Faith shifted her position to get herself a little more comfortable in the co-pilot’s seat._ _

__It had been Cordelia’s first official mission with Faith since Cordy had been seconded to the 613th Independent Ranger Battalion, the US Army’s anti-monster force. They’d been dispatched to Kansas to look into reports of cattle mutilation in the western half of the State. They’d been looking for cattle mutilation and they’d found it along with the demon biker gang responsible. In a short but vicious battle that had involved a lot of blood both bovine and demonic, Faith had taken the demon gang down while Cordy had watched her back and tried not to get blood on her flight-suit. Mission completed they were flying on to Springfield where they’d be picked up by a US Air Force C130 transport aircraft and flown back to Fort Drum in New York State where the 613th had its base._ _

__The two women had met for the first time in Yemalia, where they’d both been held hostage by Mulai Ahmed el Raisuli, Lord of the Riff. After their release they’d returned to the States where Faith had gone back to her unit and Cordy had completed her recovery after having both her legs broken when she’d been shot-down over the Yemali desert. It was while she’d been in hospital that she’d received several visits from Faith they'd talked about what had happened to each other over the years._ _

__Sitting back in her seat, Faith gazed out as Kansas rolled by underneath the bug-like helicopter. Here and there she could see little farmhouses and the occasional small town, cattle (ones that hadn’t been mutilated) stood, undisturbed by the chopper’s passing, in amongst the grass that seemed to stretch on forever like some great, green ocean. It was all so much more pleasant than Yemalia where there’d been nothing but sand, rocks and thorn bushes to break the monotony. Faith’d hated Yemalia from the first time she’d gone to that country back in '03 and Yemalia had hated her right back. The inhabitants of that country had tried to kill her on each of her visits. The place was even worse than Iraq, in her ten years in the United States Army, Faith couldn’t think of a crappier place she’d been sent to._ _

__Faith loved being in the army and she liked working with Cordelia, even if she was a Marine, she felt she had a connection with her. Something that made Faith feel she could always rely on Cordy to watch her back and she knew that the Marine pilot could fight. Cordy had saved her butt a couple of times as they’d fought for there lives in Neda against the Pasha’s troops, Cordelia had bitten off one guy's ear when the hostiles had overrun the house they’d been hold-up in, things like that made you form a bond with people._ _

__Glancing over to where Cordelia piloted the helo, Faith grinned to herself ‘Lt Cordy’ was still looking a little pale from the fight and yes it had been messy; Faith’d had to change into a clean set of camouflaged fatigues and wash the blood off her equipment. But it hadn’t been that dangerous. The demon bikers had no real chance once Cordy had caught up with them in the helo and Faith had started to shoot them down with her assault shotgun. It was only at the end of the fight when Faith had jumped from the chopper to finish off the last few demons that things had got really bloody and messy._ _

__“Hey, Faith,” Cordy called into her microphone without which they’d not be able to communicate; Cordy nodded her head to the large black cloud that seemed to fill half the sky, “I don’t like the look of that.”_ _

__“Can we fly ‘round it?” Faith frowned up at the cloud; she wanted to get home so she could visit and spend some more time with her newly rediscovered parents._ _

__“What do you think?” Cordy gestured at the cloud that was getting closer by the minute._ _

__“How far are we from Springfield,” Faith asked as she got out her map and started to look for an alternate landing spot._ _

__“About thirty miles,” Cordy eyed the cloud suspiciously, she was a Sunnydale girl and had a sixth sense for things of the weird and this cloud looked and felt strange._ _

__It'd arrived far too quickly, she’d have thought they’d have been some warning from the local air traffic control, but her radio was oddly silent._ _

__“Hold on,” Cordy said to Faith as she attempted to call up Springfield air traffic control but got no reply, “sounds like we’re on our own…hey!”_ _

__Taking a good look at the cloud, Cordelia now found it filled the entire sky, light levels had dropped dramatically until it was like a winter’s afternoon up in New York State and the aircraft was beginning to get buffeted by the high winds._ _

__“Better strap yourself in,” Cordy advised as she tightened her own safety harness, “looks like we’re in for a bumpy ride.”_ _

__“Wouldn’t it be better to land and sit this out?” Faith suggested as she strapped herself in after checking that all their gear on the rear seats was secure._ _

__“No,” Cordy shook her head and gave Faith one of her best, bright, toothy grins, “I can fly through a little storm like this!”_ _

__“Yeah, right,” Faith wasn’t so sure and silently cursed Marine Cordy’s self-confidence._ _

__The little chopper was now bouncing all over the sky as the wind sheer increased, the sound of hailstones hitting the canopy made Faith jump, just for a moment she thought she was in Yemalia again and they were being shot at. One of the fist sized lumps of ice broke the Perspex canopy over Faith’s head just before an alarm started to hoot._ _

__“What’s wrong?” Faith asked urgently as she mentally prepared herself for the helo to have to ‘ditch’._ _

__“One of those hail stones must have hit something important,” Cordelia struggled to keep the aircraft steady in the howling wind which could be heard even over the roar of the engine, “the engine’s overheating.”_ _

__Flipping switches and checking dials, Cordelia took her eyes off the outside world for just a moment. Only to look out of the cockpit again after hearing Faith’s cry of warning; looking up she saw the black column of the twister heading straight towards them._ _

__“CRAP!” Cordelia pushed the stick and peddles over to the right as she increased speed to try and avoid the twister._ _

__The helicopter’s alarms took on a new, shriller, louder tone as systems began to fail and the engine started to wheeze like an old man climbing some steep stairs. The helicopter turned slowly as Cordy realised she’d screwed up big time; she needed to get them on the ground to give themselves some hope of survival. Looking out the canopy with fear filled eyes, she watched helplessly as they turned towards yet another twister. Like some malicious entity it had come up behind them and trapped them between it and its partner._ _

__Still struggling with the controls, Cordy saw the edge of the twister clip the rotor disc and felt the chopper being sucked into the maelstrom of wind and debris that made up the twister. They were dead, if not right now they would be soon and it was all her fault for trying to fly through this crap and not landing and taking cover. It was only as the chopper wasn’t torn apart by the titanic forces within the twister that Cordelia started to realise that something _really_ strange was going on here, she turned to Faith who was sitting looking at her in shock._ _

__“I’m not complaining,” Faith began slowly, “but shouldn’t we be dead about now?”_ _

__“Yeah,” Cordy nodded her head slowly as she switched off the engine and watched the twister spin by, “about half a second after we entered this thing.”_ _

__“That can’t be right,” Faith observed as she pointed to something on the other side of the canopy._ _

__“No-no, that’s about right,” Cordy replied thinking Faith thought they should survive longer; it was only then she noticed that Faith was pointing at something, “Oh! Yeah you’re right, that’s…erm…unusual…”_ _

__The two women sat and watched as a hen-house, complete with hens and rooster, sailed by them unharmed by the high-speed winds._ _

__“And that’s just weird,” Faith gestured to where an old lady in a rocking chair flew passed the cockpit, Faith turned to Cordy and asked, “was she knitting?”_ _

__“Uh-huh,” Cordy nodded, the old lady had definitely been knitting, “Oh look,” she cried, “a cow!”_ _

__Sure enough a black and white cow sailed by and mooed at them._ _

__“Y’know, Faith,” Cordy said slowly as she watched three men in a boat row by, “I don’t think things are on the up and up here. Perhaps we’ve died and this is what we’re seeing before the lights go out.”_ _

__“Nah,” Faith shook her head, “ain’t ya supposed to see that white light thing and go down a tunnel or something?”_ _

__“Maybe,” the thing that was sticking in Cordy’s mind the most was the silence; there was no noise from the twister and none from the helicopter’s systems, it was _dead_ quiet!_ _

__“Now that’s just bizarre,” Faith observed._ _

__“Faith,” Cordelia pointed out, “the whole thing’s bizarre, what…” Cordy’s voice faded away to nothing as she caught sight of what Faith was referring to, “Yep,” Cordy agree as she nodded her head slowly, “now that is bizarre!”_ _

__Sitting side-by-side Faith and Cordy watched as a woman on the bicycle peddled by._ _

__“Crap,” Faith breathed quietly as the female cyclist morphed into a witch on a broomstick, “that can’t be good.”_ _

__Up until this point, Faith’s only experience of witches was her ex-lover, Willow Rosenberg. This witch was your traditional witch, complete with a hooked nose and warts who cackled loudly as she flew by; she looked nothing like cool, sexy, cute Willow. Considering that the witch’s cackle was the first outside sound either of them had heard for some time this didn’t bode well for the future._ _

__“Hey!” Cordy called, “We’re descending.”_ _

__“Don't ya mean crashing?” Faith asked preparing herself for the worst._ _

__Once again Cordy grabbed hold of the controls and tried to control the chopper’s decent. As long as the tail rotor was intact she had a good chance of landing and walking away, if the engine would start and the main rotor hadn’t been ripped off. Surprising herself by not swearing when the engine refused to start Cordy held on for dear life as the helicopter plummeted towards the unseen ground below them_ _

__“BRACE! BRACE! BRACE!” Cordelia yelled, although what they’d achieve by bracing against the crash she didn’t know but it was sort of instinctual._ _

__Down went the Loach as the twister started to fade away around them. As the clouds cleared they saw a pleasant green land laid out below them towards which they were spinning at terminal velocity. Catching sight of buildings and fields Cordelia wondered where they were because this didn’t look like Kansas or indeed anywhere in the United States._ _

__“OH GOD!” Cordy cried as she held out her hand to grasp Faith’s in a death grip, at least, she told herself, she wasn’t going to die alone or from being bitten on the neck by some vampire, or from being torn apart by a demon or sacrificed in some dark rite by frat boys or…_ _

__There was a terrible, terminal, fatal sounding crunch as the helicopter hit the ground at a speed that must have been well in excess of a hundred miles an hour. Sitting there in the silence with her eyes firmly closed and her hand gripping Faith’s with a strength she’d not known she possessed, Cordelia once again wondered why she wasn’t dead. Or maybe she was, perhaps the houses and fields she’d seen as they plunged towards their deaths were some sort of afterlife._ _

____

0=0=0=0

“Ya can let go now,” Faith suggested as she retrieved her hand from Cordy’s grip and started to massage some life back into it.

“Yeah right,” Cordy opened her eyes to see plastic looking flowers growing between overly green grass, “eww,” she breathed quietly, “tacky, or what?”

“You okay?” Faith asked, “Nothing broken?”

Cordy did a quick inventory of all her outlying bits and pieces and found them intact.

“Yeah, you?” Cordy glanced over at Faith.

“Yeah, I’m fine…despite you’re crappy flying,” Faith started to unbuckle her safety harness.

“Hey don’t knock it,” Cordy exclaimed, “I know that wasn’t one of my greatest landings but look on the bright side,” she smiled, “we’re both alive and as my old flight instructor always used to say; any landing you can walk away from is a good one,” Cordy paused to draw breath and think, “and hey, I’ve only ever crashed twice and both times there were mitigating circumstances!”

“Whatever,” Faith sighed before pushing open the door and climbing down onto the ground.

Faith found herself agreeing with Cordy’s earlier assessment of the place, it looked tacky, manufactured even. The chopper had landed almost upright on a grassy bank that looked just a little too green to be natural. There were big brightly coloured flowers growing in clumps near by, they had a sort of waxy look to the overly bright flower heads. There was a little bridge crossing a small river that flowed into some placid ponds on the opposite side of the bridge. The water looked too blue to be real as did the huge lily-pads that floated in the ponds. The sky was again a perfect shade of blue and dotted with fluffy white clouds that drifted on a gentle breeze. In the distance there were some small white-washed, thatched houses on the other side of the river but there was no sign of any inhabitants or the twister and its accompanying black cloud.

“Come on Cordy,” Faith called as she yanked open the rear door and started to remove their equipment, “time to look at the scenery later, now’s the time for your escape, evasion and survival techniques to kick in.”

“Yeah right,” Cordelia replied absently, “so who are we escaping and evading from?”

“I don’t know,” Faith admitted as she checked her Smith and Wesson AS2 assault shotgun, “but knowing our luck there’s bound to be someone after us…”

“Like the local sheriff?” Cordy called from the other side of the chopper.

“What?” Faith looked through the Loach at Cordy who was standing looking down at something.

“Faith you better come see,” Cordy wailed forgetting for the moment she was supposed to be a big, tough US Marine.

Holding her shotgun at the ready and scanning the flowers and bushes for any sign of danger, Faith walked around the downed helo to take a look at whatever it was that Cordy was getting her panties in a bunch about.

“What’s…” Faith looked down to see a pair of black and white stripped stockinged legs sticking out from under their helicopter, “…crap!”

“We landed on someone,” Cordy pointed out the obvious.

“No,” Faith shook her head, “we crashed on someone…”

“Do you really think that’ll make any difference when they come to lynch us?” Cordy wanted to know.

“Maybe,” Faith said without taking her eyes off the bright red, ruby, shoes that were being worn by the dead feet.

0=0=0=0


	2. Chapter 2

2.

**Munchkinland, Oz.**

“So, not my style,” Cordelia announced when she noticed Faith staring at the ruby-like shoes.

“Not mine either,” Faith shrugged as she moved away from the crashed helicopter.

Walking around the wreck to where she could see the small, deserted town again, Faith shifted the weight of her AS2 a little as she watched the garish flora suspiciously.

“What’s wrong?” Cordy asked as she came up behind Faith her own MP5 held across her body.

“Ever get that feeling you’re bein’ watched, Cordy?” Faith asked quietly.

“All the time...hey! Heads up!” Cordy pointed across the fields to where a glowing ball of light was floating steadily towards them at about the speed of a fast runner. “Now there’s something you don’t see everyday.”

“Ya not wrong,” Faith agreed before adding, “maybe we should spread out a little, give 'em a bigger target, huh?”

“Good idea,” Cordelia agreed as she moved away from Faith and brought her MP5 up into the ready position.

As both women tracked the glowing ball with their weapons without actually pointing them directly at the it; the glowy thing got closer and closer. Very soon it was hovering between them only a few inches off the ground. The ball had to be about eight feet across and glowed with a soft purple light, it made no sound and had no visible means of propulsion. After a moment or two of just hovering there the ball popped like a soap bubble and disappeared leaving a woman standing in its place.

Aiming her AS2 at the woman’s head, Faith tensed as she studied her for a few seconds. The woman was about Cordy’s height with red hair which tumbled in tight curls from under what looked like a glittery, pink, plastic crown. In one hand she held a slim, shiny stick with a cardboard, silver star stuck on the end. The rest of her costume was like some ball-gown from a bygone age; it was pink like her crown and covered in sequins. Like everything else Faith’d seen in this world so far, it looked ‘tacky’.

“Over dressed, much,” Cordelia observed as she watched the woman over the top of her MP5.

For her part the sartorially challenged woman regarded Faith and Cordy with one of those calm, half smiles often seen on the faces of the religiously insane just before they set off the bomb they’re hiding under their clothes. Just for a moment Faith did indeed wonder how much explosive the sparkly-pink-woman could be hiding strapped to her legs under the full skirt of her dress. 

“Are you a good witch,” asked the woman as she looked at Cordy before turning to Faith and adding, “or a bad witch?”

“Hey!” Faith complained, “Hold on lady, watch who ya calling a bad witch!”

“We’re not witches, sister,” Cordelia replied belligerently, “but we _will_ kick your overdressed ass if you don’t tell us what’s going on here.”

“Oh?” the pink-poser seemed unsettled by this intelligence; she then pointed to a small scabby dog that had appeared from out of nowhere by Faith’s feet, “Well,” grinned insane-o-woman, “is that the witch?”

“Nah,” Faith shook her head before looking down at the dog and trying to push it away with her combat boot, “lady, that’s a dog.”

“Well then I’m a little muddled,” giggled pink-woman.

“A little loony you mean,” Cordelia muttered.

“The Munchkins called me,” explained pink-fairy-Barbie, “they said there was a new witch who’d just dropped a…” Barbie turned and gestured towards the wrecked Loach not sure what to call it, “…a flying windmill on the Wicked Witch of the East.”

“Who!?” Faith and Cordy demanded in unison.

“The Wicked Witch of the East,” repeated insane-o-Barbie, “while here you are and there she is,” bizarre-o-woman pointed to the Loach again, “and that’s all that’s left of her.” Barbie smiled inanely at Cordy and Faith, “So, what the Munchkins want to know is…are you good witches or bad witches?”

“Look lady,” Faith spoke up as she let the barrel of her weapon drop away from the woman a little, “we’ve told ya we’re not witches.”

“Yeah,” agreed Cordy, “I’m no freak!”

What sounded like high-pitched giggling came from the bushes to Faith’s right, she turned to cover the undergrowth with her AS2, “What’s that!?”

“The Munchkins,” Barbie’s insane smile got a little more insane as she spoke, “they’re laughing because I’m a witch you see?”

“On drugs more like,” Cordelia observed quietly.

“I’m Glinda, the Witch of the North,” Glinda announced.

“Glinda?” Cordy glanced at Faith who was still covering the bushes, “What the hell kinda name is Glinda?”

“Same kinda name as _Cordelia_ ,” Faith explained not taking her eyes off the giggling bushes.

“Hey…!” Cordelia was about to complain but was brought up short by Glinda’s next little gem of information.

“The Munchkins are happy because you freed them from the Wicked Witch of the East,” Glinda waved her stick with the cardboard star on the end around a little.

It was about at this point that a thought struck Cordy; Glinda was always referring to this ‘Wicked Witch of the East’, while calling herself the Witch of the North without mentioning whether she was good or bad. Cordy tightened her grip on her MP5 and kept it pointing at Glinda ‘the Morally Ambiguous’ Witch, aloud she asked:

“Okay what the freakin’ hell are Munchkins?”

More giggling came from the bushes and Cordelia started to wonder if everyone was on drugs in this crazy world.

“The little people who live in this land,” Glinda explained, “this is Munchkinland…”

“Well duh!” Cordelia scoffed.

“Ask a stupid question…” Faith chipped in.

“…and you are their national heroines!” Glinda added.

“I knew it,” Cordy grimaced, “they’re all on drugs!”

“Say what?” Faith took her eyes off the bushes for a moment and glanced at Cordy.

“You heard her,” Cordy gestured with her MP5 at Glinda, “National Heroin!”

“Nah,” Faith shook her head, “she said ‘heroines’ which is like a female hero…” Faith paused for a second before adding, “…didn’t you say you’d gone to college?”

“Yeah,” Cordy admitted, “but I must have missed the day when they explained the difference between heroes, heroines and heroin.”

“Whatever,” Faith shrugged and went back to watching the bushes.

“It’s alright!” Glinda turned to the bushes and waved her silly stick about again, “You may come out of the bushes and thank them.”

Slowly, cautiously the bushes parted to reveal several short people, dressed in brightly coloured clothes, who timidly came out into the open. They were totally unaware how close they were to bloody death when Faith almost opened fire on them at their sudden appearance.

“ _Come out, come out_ ” Glinda began to sing, “ _Wherever you are…_ ”

“Hey!” Cordelia snapped, “Enough with the singing…and is everyone a fashion victim here, doesn’t anyone have a full length mirror or a bestfriend?”

As the crowd of small people grew in number they pressed in towards Cordy and Faith.

“Okay, L-t,” Faith backed slowly towards Cordy as she kept her weapon trained on the vertically challenged crowd, “you're the officer, what do we do now?”

“Hell!” Cordy shrugged as she lowered her MP5, “I say we go with the flow…”

Lowering their weapons, Faith and Cordy found themselves being lead further into the Munchkin town by Glinda as the crowd grew thinker and pressed in closer and closer until Faith started to worry that the little scabby dog from earlier was going to get flattened under foot. 

Very soon, Cordy and Faith found themselves standing on a low plinth in what appeared to be the town square. All around them the Munchkins pressed in closer to listen as Glinda explained what had happened. As her words passed through the crowd the Munchkins got more and more excited, some of them started to cheer. Within moments the Munchkins started to dance around the plaza in what looked like some kind of complicated square dance.

By now the square was packed with the brightly dressed, but oh-so un-colour-co-ordinated Munchkins. Faith and Cordy looked at each other behind Glinda’s back and shrugged, perhaps someone might be able to tell them how to get home once everyone had come down off their post liberation high. There was a disturbance over to their left as a group of what were obviously Munchkin soldiers made their way into the square. The soldiers were dressed in yellow, black and white, disruptive pattern camouflaged fatigues and carried miniature AK47’s across their chests.

Once the soldiers had cleared a path through the happy throng a small open topped limo appeared and drove to the podium where Faith and Cordy stood. At a nod from Glinda, Cordy and Faith walked down to the car and squeezed inside, it was a tight fit for the two women and their weapons, but somehow they managed to squeeze into the vehicle.

“Now this is what I was born for,” Cordy said as she smiled and waved at the adoring, cheering crowds.

“What’s that?” Faith waved self-consciously at the helium sucking Munchkins.

“Being surrounded by people who love me!” Cordy sighed happily.

“Say what?” Faith scowled for just a moment; none of this seemed quite right to her.

Ever since they’d come to this world (she’d realised that this couldn’t be Earth about five seconds after getting out of the crashed chopper) her ‘ambush cramps’ had been churning away at her stomach. They weren’t the sort of ambush cramps that warned her of an insurgent ambush or that she was about to be jumped by some terrible monster. No, this was just a low level churning that warned of danger all around.

“Hey Cordy,” Faith leaned towards Cordelia so she could talk without being overheard, “keep ya eyes open for trouble, okay?”

“What!?” Cordy turned to Faith and gave her one of her brightest smiles, “You worry too much.”

As the Munchkintown was Munchkin sized it didn’t take them long to reach the Munchkintown Townhall where a group of Munchkin dignitaries waited to greet their liberators. Squeezing out of the limo, Cordelia led the way up the Townhall steps to stand towering over the Munchkin big-wigs.

“As Mayor of the Munchkin City,” a self-important short dude introduced himself to Cordelia; he was dressed in a bright green suit with a yellow waistcoat that made her eyes water. “I welcome you most regally…”

“But we’ve got to verify it legally…” a Munchkin in purple, priestly, robes pushed his way between Cordy and the mayor as they started to argue.

“What’s goin’ on, Cordy?” Faith asked as she came up behind her.

“Erm…” Cordy paused to listen as the argument grew more heated, “…I think they’re arguing over whether the Witch Bitch is legally dead or not.”

“Hell,” Faith brushed some flowers from her hair and uniform, “she looked dead to me…” something in the crowd caught Faith’s eye, “…yo, what’s goin’ on over here?”

Down in the crowd Faith and Cordy could see Munchkins being dragged roughly from their houses. The female Munchkins were forced to sit on stools while other Munchkins spat and yelled at them while a soldier shaved their heads, none too gently, with a pair of hair clippers. While this was going on the male Munchkins where beaten to the ground where they were kicked unmercifully by the crowd.

“Hey!” Cordelia turned around and grabbed the Mayor by the lapel of his jacket, “What’s going on here?”

“Oh that’s nothing…” the Mayor started to explain.

“Don’t look like ‘nothin’’ to me,” Faith growled warningly and shifted her AS2 into a more warlike position.

“Oh they’re just collaborators,” the Mayor explained with a puzzled smile, “they worked for the Wicked Witch.”

“Yeah,” Cordy glared down at the short-order Mayor, “but that doesn’t give you the right to…”

“LOOK!” Faith pushed herself in front of Cordy and lifted up the Mayor with one hand by the front of his waistcoat so she could look him in the eye, “Send ya troops in to stop this or we’ll stop it for ya!”

By now the Munchkin rioters had broken into the collaborator’s houses and were looting them and throwing the contents out into the street. Cordy could see some of the unfortunate Munchkins being dragged towards lampposts where other Munchkins prepared nooses; only moments later she saw the first Munchkin collaborator being strung up. Watching through horrified eyes Cordy saw the little man, he looked like some sort of minor government official, kick his legs as he tried to find purchase on thin air, slowly his struggles grew weaker as the crowd cheered and prepared to string up their next victim. Firing a short burst from her MP5 over the heads of the crowd, Cordy watched as the Munchkin crowd scattered leaving their bleeding victims on the ground.

“SEIZE THEM!” Cried the Mayor as he pointed to both Faith and Cordy.

An even dozen Munchkin soldiers rushed at Faith and Cordy. Lashing out with her boots and the butt of her AS2, Faith sent the first wave of Munchkin military reeling back in disorder. Caught looking the other way, Cordy turned to see the Munchkins almost on top of her; instinctively she pulled the trigger of her MP 5. Watching in a mixture of horror and fascination, Cordy saw her rounds stitch their way across the soldier’s chests leaving big red blotches to stain their uniforms.

“That’s torn it!” Faith called just before her AS2 started to boom as it reduced the surviving Munchkin troops to bloody pulp.

“CRAP!” Cordy yelled, “I didn’t mean too…”

“Doesn’t matter,” Faith grabbed her friend by the arm, “it’s happened now…” Faith looked around at the suddenly deserted Townhall steps and the bodies bleeding at their feet, “…we need to get outta here, head towards the helo grab our gear and get outta this ville!”

“But…!” Cordelia ducked as the first Munchkin bullets cracked above her head, “Screw this!” She emptied the rest of her magazine towards the firers forcing them to keep their heads down, “LETS GET OUTTA HERE!” she cried as the firing became more general, “AFTER YOU CHIEF!”

“This way!” Faith started to move down the steps and back towards the square.

Running from cover to cover the two women fired at the Munchkin soldiers forcing them back from their intended route. Coming to the end of a row of houses, Faith found they’d got back to the square, only this time instead of being full of happy, dancing Munchkin people it was full of angry Munchkin rioters who clutched stones and petrol bombs in their small hands.

Checking that her magazine was full, Faith fired steadily into the crowd blowing great gaps in its ranks with her 12 gauge shotgun cartridges. The crowd screamed in fear and anger as it scattered in front of the whirlwind of buckshot. But not all the Munchkins ran, some stayed long enough to throw stones or petrol bombs. The stones clattered off the cobbled streets while the petrol bombs splashed their flaming cargoes across the roads and up the walls of the nearby houses, very soon the thatched roofs began to burn and smoke filled the air.

Firing short bursts at the pursuing Munchkin troops, Cordy watched their backs while Faith blasted the way clear with her heavier weapon. Kneeling behind a trash can, Cordy changed magazines as she noted the tiny bullets from the Munchkin AK’s impact the metal of the trash bin. Cocking her machine pistol once more she looked around her cover just in time to see a squad of Munchkins rush down the side of the increasingly smoke filled street. Lifting her weapon to her shoulder she fired taking them down with a series of short controlled bursts. Her relatively big 9mm rounds had the effect of almost literally blowing the Munchkins into small bloody pieces. After reducing this latest counter-attack to a bloody shambles, Cordy checked her ammunition to find she only had one spare magazine plus what she had in her MP5; she also had her M9 pistol and three mags for that, but basically she was almost out.

“Faith!” Cordy cried over her shoulder, “I’m almost out!”

“Okay Marine,” Faith called back, “all we’ve gotta do is cross the square and then get over the bridge,” Faith demolished a group of Munchkins who’d been trying to advance under the cover of a wooden cart that they’d been pushing in front of them. “Once we’re over the bridge you can get the spare ammo from the helo while I hold them back, okay?”

“Oh!” Cordy looked at Faith in surprise, “Is that all we’ve got to do?” she shook her head, “And there was me thinking we were in trouble!”

0=0=0=0


	3. Chapter 3

3.

**The Yellow Brick Road, just across the Munchkinland Border.**

The light was beginning to fail as Faith and Cordelia left the burning ruins of Munchkinville behind them. Having reached the main square earlier in the afternoon the two women had struck out for the bridge and what they hoped was at least temporary safety. Running passed burning Munchkin vehicles and through the billowing clouds of smoke from the Munchkin’s thatched houses, Faith had blasted a path through to the bridge with her trusty assault shotgun. Reaching the bridge, she turned at bay to hold the bridge while Cordelia ran on to the crash sight. Her first priority was to take some spare ammunition back to Faith who’d run perilously low during their escape from Munchkin-hell. Dumping half a dozen spare magazines with Faith, Cordy had gone back to the chopper to retrieve the rest of their gear.

Alone at the bridge, Faith had thrown back every attempt the Munchkin troops made to cross. Every Munchkin attack ended in bloody ruin as Faith gunned down her screaming opponents until eventually they stopped coming. Standing like Horatius at the Bridge, Faith watched as the last of the Munchkin troops fell back into the burning town before turning away herself and heading out to join Cordy at the chopper. Heaving their packs up onto their backs they ran off down the yellow brick road, Faith let Cordy set the pace while she brought up the rear often running backwards so she could check they’d not been followed. 

Coming to a cross roads, Faith called for a halt. By now Munchkinville was nothing but a red glow in the sky behind the trees. Faith had seen no sign of pursuit; the Munchkins probably had more pressing things on their minds like trying to save at least some of their burning city. Flopping gratefully to the ground next to a fence that separated a sunflower field from the road, Cordy disentangled herself from her pack and rubbed her leg.

“How ya doin’ there, Cordy?” slipping off her own pack Faith came to kneel next to Cordelia, “How’s the leg?”

When Cordelia had been shot down and crashed in the Yemali desert she’d broken both her legs. Her left leg had been fractured and had healed without any complications. Her right leg however had been incorrectly set by the local doctor and she’d had to have it re-broken and reset. The truth was that although Cordy was good enough to walk she wasn’t really fit enough to be running about being chased by hostile forces.

“Not so bad,” Cordy continued rubbing at her leg, “I can keep going fine.”

“Yeah, right,” Faith nodded her head, “neither of us is goin’ anywhere tonight.”

“But…!?” Cordy gestured to the red glow that was Munchkinville.

“Nah,” Faith shook her head, “we out ran those short-assed-bastards and anyway they’ve got better things to do than chase after us.”

“You think?” Cordy gazed back down the road, “You know I can’t help feeling a little responsible for all this…I mean if I hadn’t fired…”

“Hey don’t sweat it, L-t,” Faith shrugged, “ya had to try something, I mean you couldn’t just let those poor bastards be strung up like that.”

“Yeah,” Cordy sighed as she looked down at the grass between her legs, “I suppose you’re right.”

”Of course I’m right,” Faith laughed, “I’m a Warrant Officer I’m always right and it’s about time you no-nothin’ L-t’s realised that; now what-cha-wanna do? Clean the weapons or cook?”

“Cook!” Cordelia replied quickly, “MRE’s are bad enough without you touching them first.”

“Hey!” Faith gave Cordy a hurt look.

Cordelia started to empty out the rations from her pack.

“One day,” Faith took Cordy’s MP5 so she could clean it, “I’ll make ya eat those words.”

“Yeah right,” Cordelia started to study the writing on the MRE packs and the labels on the civilian tinned food in the failing light, “as long as you haven’t cooked them first.”

Finding that they’d not got a camping cooker in either of their packs, Cordy pushed herself to her feet again. For a moment she hesitated before gingerly putting her weight on her injured leg. Apart from a slight twinge it didn’t feel too bad, anyway she had some pain killers in her pack, she’d take a couple of those after she’d eaten. The painkillers would insure she got a good night’s sleep and she’d be fine by the morning. But worrying about her leg wasn’t going to find her any wood to build a fire and boil some water.

Walking along the edge of the field, Cordy picked up dried out sunflower storks and some larger pieces of wood, when she thought she had enough she went back to the camp and started to build a fire just like she’d been shown on her Marine survival training course. Realising she had no kindling, Cordy once again headed back into the field. Picking up more wood and old sunflower storks, she moved further into the field without really realising how far she wondered from the road.

“Hi there!” came a male voice out of the dusk.

“Who said that?” in an instant Cordy had dropped her load of fire wood and had drawn her sidearm.

“Me,” announced the voice.

“Show yourself,” Cordy warned as she raised her pistol to cover the sunflowers that grew to head height all around her, all she could see was a battered old scarecrow hanging from a wooden post a couple of feet to her left.

“Say,” this time when the voice spoke, Cordy could see the scarecrow’s mouth moving, “I wond…!”

Having grown up in Sunnydale, Cordelia was perhaps a little scarred mentally. In her young life she’d seen some terrible things; they still haunted her dreams even now she was an adult and a veteran Marine pilot. So, it wasn’t really that unexpected that when the scarecrow moved and talked to her she shot it three times in the head without even pausing to think about it. The scarecrow slumped down and hung bonelessly from its post as little tendrils of smoke drifted up from the bullet holes in its head. Moments later, Faith came crashing through the sunflowers her own automatic pistol huge in her small hand.

“What’s up!” Faith demanded as she scanned the sunflowers for threats.

“Nothing much,” Cordy put away her pistol and bent to pick up her fire wood, “scarecrow came alive so I shot it.”

“Alive?” Faith cast her eyes over to the ‘dead’ scarecrow noting the nice grouping of Cordy’s pistol shots in the scarecrow’s head, “Nice shooting,” Faith complemented. 

“Hey tell you what,” Cordy quickly recovered from her earlier shock, “grab that thing and we can burn it.”

“Yo,” Faith slipped her own weapon back into its holster, “good idea.”

Pulling the stake from the ground, Faith carried it and the scarecrow back to camp where she took it apart. Leaving Cordy to tend the fire, Faith went back to cleaning their weapons and loading empty magazines with spare rounds from the boxes they both carried in their packs, she’d not quite finish when Cordy told her that their meal was ready and held out a plastic bowl full of meatballs, tinned vegetables and pasta to her.

“We’ll be needing more water soon,” Cordy observed once they’d finished eating and she was using a wet cloth to clean their eating utensils.

“Yeah,” Faith nodded as she thumbed rounds into empty magazines, “we need a lot of stuff.”

The emergency packs that they carried in the chopper where good but they were only really designed for immediate survival needs.

“Look,” Faith gestured to the magazines that rested on the poncho she’d been sitting on, “I’ve got ten full mags for the AS2 and maybe another fifty rounds spare,” next she pointed to the magazines for Cordy’s MP5. “You’ve got six full mags for that pea-shooter of yours and a couple of spare boxes, that’s maybe another sixty rounds.”

“You’re telling me we don’t want to get mixed up in any more firefights,” Cordy observed, “I can live with that.”

“Well nothing like earlier,” Faith agreed, “okay, we’ve got this stuff, our handguns, combat knives, stakes, some holy water. How’re we off for food?”

“If we’re careful we’ve MRE’s for three days,” Cordy held up the ration packs, “we’ve got some civilian tins and candy and energy bars, so food wise we’re not so badly off, but, I’d suggest we start foraging before we really need to and keep the MRE’s for emergencies.”

“Cool,” Faith nodded her head in agreement.

“We’ve both got sleeping bags and ponchos,” Cordy pointed to the items, “plus the usual personal hygiene and first aid items.”

“Not too bad,” Faith nodded, “now all we have to do is find our way home and not get killed in the mean time.”

“Shouldn’t be that hard,” Cordelia announced with her usual optimism, “all we need to do is find a replacement helicopter and I can fly us home.”

“Yeah right,” Faith grinned, “in the mean time we better get some sleep. If ya don’t mind an old army Chief tellin’ ya what to do…”

“When has me minding ever bothered you before?” Cordelia wanted to know.

“Like never,” Faith shrugged, “look I don’t need so much sleep as you, so I’ll get my head down now for a couple of hours while you keep watch then you should be able to get maybe five hours of undisturbed sleep.”

“You’re just too good to me Faith,” Cordy grinned as she picked up her MP5 and slipped a fresh magazine into its housing.

“I know,” Faith started to clear away all the gear she’d got spread out on her poncho, “but hey, someone has to look out for you pansy Marines!” Something caught Faith’s eye and she looked back towards Munchkinville, “Oh crap,” she sighed at the approaching globe of purple light, “what’s the betting that’s Glinda the insane fairy?”

0=0=0=0

Glinda the Witch of the North, popped into existence in front of Cordy and Faith as her transporter bubble vanished.

“That outfit is sooo yesterday,” Cordelia announced in a loud whisper.

“Hello again my dears,” Glinda smiled her familiar insane smile at the two American women, “you seem to have made an impact on the Munchkins, you were wise to leave their land as quickly as you did,” Glinda paused for a moment before continuing, “I’m afraid you’ve also made an enemy of the Wicked Witch of the West.”

“Who? How?” Demanded Faith.

“What another one?” Cordy groaned, “Just how many wicked witches are there?”

“Just the two,” Glinda informed her, “well, just the one now you’ve killed one…”

“Hey, that was an accident,” Faith pointed out.

“Whatever,” Glinda shrugged, “but the sooner you get out of Oz altogether the safer you’ll be my dears.”

“Hey,” Cordelia cried, her Marine pride hurt a little by the implication that she couldn’t take some old wicked witch down, “we can totally take her, anytime!”

“Yeah right,” Faith rolled her eyes, god save her from over eager Marine Lieutenants, “but we’ve gotta get out of this place, if it’s the last thing we ever do…” Faith gave a puzzled frown, this place must be getting to her, she’d nearly burst into song there for a minute. “But how do we get back to Kansas?”

“Yeah,” Cordy pushed aside thoughts of taking out wicked witches for the time being, “it’s not like we can fly out.”

“No that’s true,” Glinda shook her head sadly, “but there is someone who might be able to help.”

“Like who?” Faith asked suspiciously as she noticed the more than usual manic glint in Glinda’s eye.

“Why,” Glinda laughed hardly letting her tenuous grasp on sanity slip at all, “the Great and Wonderful Wizard of Oz of course!”

“Say what?” Faith asked.

“A wizard?” Cordelia repeated, “Hey, look my mom always told me to stay away from wizards…all those walking brushes and buckets of water…”

“Is this wizard a good guy?” Faith wanted to know.

“…and the funny pointy hats…” Cordelia added.

“Oh, he’s very good,” Glinda looked very pensive for a moment before continuing, “but very mysterious and powerful….” Her voice faded away for just a moment allowing Cordelia to add something.

“…and the weird robes…”

“He lives in the Emerald City…” Glinda stared off into the distance with lust filled eyes.

“…and the least said about those staff things with the knob on the end the better!” Cordelia explained.

“…which is a very long journey from here,” Glinda’s eyes refocused on Faith, “did you bring your broomsticks with you?”

“Like I said, lady,” Cordelia having finished her little diatribe concerning wizards was taking more interest in the conversation again, “sooo not witches.”

“Oh, well then,” Glinda sighed, “you’ll have to walk...OH!” Glinda appeared to have remembered something, “Take these for me would you?”

The pair of ruby slippers from the dead witch appeared in her hand and she held them out to Cordy who, without thinking, took hold of them.

“What do I do with these?” Cordy asked examining the garish footwear with distaste.

“Once you get to the Emerald City,” Glinda explained nonchalantly, “just give them to the Wizard,” Glinda giggled like some insane, murderous schoolgirl, “he’ll be really surprised to see them again.”

“He lost them?” Cordy asked all the time wondering what a wizard was doing with a pair of ruby slippers in the first place.

“In a manner of speaking,” Glinda admitted, “now remember, never let those slippers out of your sight not even for a moment….and never, ever let the Wicked Witch get her hands on them.”

“Can’t I put them in my pack?” Cordy wanted to know.

“Pack?” Glinda glanced at Cordy’s pack, “Oh, I suppose so, just keep them safe.”

“So,” Faith took over as Cordy put the shoes in the bottom of her pack, “how do we get to this Emerald City place?”

“Just follow the yellow brick road,” Glinda pointed to the brightly coloured thoroughfare.

“Follow the yellow brick road?” Faith frowned at the fairy witch, this sounded way too easy.

“Yes,” Glinda drew in a deep breath, “ _Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road_ ” she sang, “ _follow, follow, follow the yellow brick_ …”

“Alright already!” Cordelia rolled her eyes, “We get the picture, no need to make a song and dance out of it…sheesh!”

Moments later Glinda vanished leaving Cordy and Faith standing at the side of the road in the light of their little camp fire.

“So,” sighed Cordelia as she turned back towards the fire, “we’re off to see the wizard…”

“The wonderful wizard of Oz,” Faith pointed out as she joined Cordy by the fire.

“I’ve heard,” Cordelia confided, “he really is a whiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was…”

“I think we need to sleep,” Faith pointed out as she unrolled her sleeping bag, “wake me in a couple of hours.”

“Roger that,” Cordy sat down with her back against a fence post and cradled her MP5 in her arms, “ _If ever a wiz there was_ ,” Cordelia sang quietly to herself as Faith began to snore, “ _the Wizard of Oz is one because…_ , what the hell are you talking about Cordelia Chase?” Cordy asked herself, “Oh, well,” she sighed, “I might as well pack up everything as I’m awake.”

As quietly as she could, but she doubted that an airstrike by an entire Marine air group would have woken Faith, she loaded up their packs in preparation for starting their journey in the morning.

0=0=0=0


	4. Chapter 4

4.

**Munchkinville the following morning.**

A single black speck appeared in the sky above the still smoking ruins of Munchkinville. Very soon the first speck was joined by another and another until the individual specks coalesced into a veritable cloud of specks. Without warning portions of the speck-cloud dropped towards the smouldering debris of the town. As the specks grew larger any Munchkin who looked up from their self-inflicted woes would recognise the specks for what they were; the lead elements of the crack 103rd Guards Flying Monkey Air Assault Division!

Very soon tough looking, heavily armed flying monkeys had secured the major road junctions in and around the city. From here they spread out and captured important locations within the city itself; as they took their objectives the flying monkeys captured the remnants of the Munchkin army with hardly a shot being fired. Once all their objectives were in their hands the monkey general had his troops start to patrol the city streets to ensure public order. The mayor and his ruling clique were arrested as were the leaders of the Lullaby League and the Lollipop Guild. Once the city was secured and the Munchkin leadership were securely under lock and key, the monkey general had the main square cordoned off in preparation for the arrival of the Wicked Witch of the West.

“Well done, my pretties!” cackled the Wicked Witch as she appeared from the cloud of red smoke which was her normal way of making an entrance.

“Welcome to Munchkinville, your Wickedness,” the monkey general stepped forward and saluted, “Order has been restored, all Munchkin military units have been disarmed and returned to barracks; the streets of Munchkinville are once again safe!”

“Excellent!” the Wicked Witch smiled down at her general before losing any sign of happiness at an annexation completed with minimal bloodshed, “and my sister?”

“I’m afraid the reports were true, your Wickedness,” the general replied soberly as he gestured towards the crashed helicopter, “If you’d like to follow me your Wickedness?”

The monkey general lead his head of state across the bridge to where the wrecked Loach lay at a slight angle, the Wicked Witch of the East’s feet were still sticking out from under the helicopter; they were, however, minus their ruby slippers.

“NO!” gasped the Wicked Witch as she gazed upon the feet of her sister and tears trickled down her green face, “WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!?”

The monkey general winced as the witch’s voice seemed to make the entire world shake.

“Uh-humm,” the monkey officer cleared his throat, “reports suggest that the death of your illustrious sister may well have been a simple accident,” explained the General. “This machine,” the officer gestured to the remains of the Loach, “simply fell from the sky and just happened to land where your sister was standing at the time.”

“Lorks!” exclaimed the Witch.

“Indeed your Wickedness,” the general nodded solemnly, “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

“Never mind that,” the Wicked Witch quickly recovered from hearing the news that her sister was in fact dead, “where are the ruby slippers?”

“The evidence seems to suggest that Glinda has them,” the General announced warily unsure how the Witch would take the news.

“WHAT!?” the witch took the news badly, “That power hungry bitch has the ruby slippers?”

“So it would seem,” confirmed the monkey general with a terse nod of the head, “I have scouts out looking for her now.”

“Call your scouts back,” the witch said with a sad shake of the head, “she’ll be long gone.” After taking a deep breath the Wicked Witch raised her eyes to look at the ruins of the once beautiful city of Munchkinville, “And who caused this?” the witch wanted to know, “Was it Glinda?”

“No, your Wickedness,” the General turned to lead the witch back into the square, “The machine that crashed on your sister was piloted by two human women who were at first welcomed as the liberators of the Munchkins from your sister’s enlightened rule.”

“Disloyal, devious little bastards,” muttered the Witch, “I warned her about the little swine I did.”

“Indeed Ma’am,” the General agreed.

“I told her she’d never win them over with kindness,” sniffed the Witch as she realised she’d never see her dear, sweet, sensitive sister again, “I told her that the only way to win their hearts and minds was to grab them by the bollocks!”

“Very perceptive of you, your Wickedness,” observed the monkey general with a straight face.

“So,” the witch dabbed at her eyes with a black lace hankie, “what happened next?”

“As far as we’ve been able to ascertain,” the General continued with his report, “everything was going as you’d expect until the mob started to abuse your sister’s Munchkin loyalists, Ma’am. It was when the mob started to lynch your sister’s loyal subjects and the Munchkin troops just stood by and failed to restore order. It was then that one of the human women fired warning shots.”

“She did?” the witch looked at her general in surprise, “Go on.”

“Here the narrative gets a little confused,” explained the general, “it would appear that the Munchkins treacherously attacked the human women. However, one of the humans appears to have been an extremely formidable warrior.”

“One human woman was responsible for all this,” the witch waved her hand at the ruins of Munchkinville.

“Indirectly your Wickedness,” the General corrected her, “in the Munchkin’s incompetent attempts to stop the humans from escaping they managed to burn down their own city!”

“Serves them right,” sniffed the Witch, “that’ll teach the ungrateful little bastards.”

“My sentiments entirely your Wickedness,” the General agreed.

“So where did these human women go?” the Witch wanted to know.

“My scouts picked up their trail at about dawn this morning, I’m afraid,” the general took a deep breath, “they appear to be heading towards the Emerald City.”

“The Emerald City, eh?” The witch stroked her green chin, “Logical,” she mused, “their best chance of escaping Oz is to contact the Wizard or myself and I’m betting that Glinda never mentioned that to them.”

“Unlikely,” nodded the general, “and if she did I expect it was in un-flattering terms.”

“So, they’re off to see the wizard,” the Wicked Witch pondered.

“The wonderful wizard of Oz…” added the general before he realised where these words were leading him; the Witch and General exchanged glances and shuddered.

“Orders, Ma’am?” the General asked.

“Hmmm,” ruminated the Wicked Witch, “we must prevent Glinda from using those slippers to further her own insane, Oz dominating plans.”

“Agreed ma’am,” nodded the general.

“I want you to send one of your regiments and form a cordon between here and the Emerald City,” ordered the witch, “not too close mind, this side of Poppy Fields will do.”

“Of course,” the general called over a staff officer and had him dispatch the division’s 3rd Regiment.

“Then dispatch another regiment to sweep the area from here towards the city,” the witch moved to where a group of monkey officers were standing around a map of the area having an impromptu tea party.

“Ah!” the general nodded, “They are to be the hammer to the 3rd’s anvil.”

“Precisely,” smiled the witch, “it would be unlike Glinda to do her own dirty work so I’m guessing that these human women have been persuaded to carry the shoes to the Emerald City for her.”

“Yes,” agreed the general, “Glinda would be wise to keep well clear of the Emerald City once the slippers get near,” the general spent a few moments issuing orders to his staff, “And your orders for the rest of the Division, Ma’am?”

“Yes, the remaining regiment and your divisional assets will remain here to oversee reconstruction and form a reserve should we need it…”

“And the Munchkin leadership?” queried the general.

“Have them…” the Witch smiled wickedly, “…have unfortunate accidents.”

“Shot while trying to escape?” the General suggested.

“Yes,” smiled the Witch, “that’ll do nicely and General,” a steely look came to the witch’s eye, “Unless it can be proved without a shadow of a doubt that the human women are not carrying the slippers they must be prevented from taking them to the Emerald City…AT ALL COSTS!”

“Understood, your Wickedness,” the General snapped to attention and saluted.

“Now FLY MY PRETTIES!” cackled the witch.

0=0=0=0

**Along the Yellow Brick Road**

After a short, sharp skirmish with some apple trees that didn’t want to give up their fruit, Faith and Cordy marched on down the Yellow Brick Road munching on crisp red apples.

“How ya doin’ there Cordy?” Faith asked as she noticed her friend favouring her injured leg.

“Oh,” Cordelia forced a smile, “I’m fine, fit as a fiddle that’s me.”

“Don’t give me that Marine B-S,” Faith turned her head to look at Cordy, “if ya need to stop just say, I won’t tell ya Marine buddies that ya whimped out on me!”

“Hey!” Cordy cried angrily before taking a deep breath and calming down; Faith was right it’d do them no good if she couldn’t go on and she knew that Faith would never leave her behind.

Back in Sunnydale, Cordy hadn’t had much to do with Faith other than to note there was a new and slutty slayer in town. Of course by then she’d been betrayed by Xander Harris (the two-timing bastard), immediately after she’d broken up with Harris the Scoobies had closed ranks around the pathetic little creep and cut her out of their lives (although they were still glad of her help when they were in the crap…the ungrateful bastards). It seemed they’d sort of done the same with Faith (which went some of the way to explaining the fellow feeling she had with Faith). 

Of course their shared experiences in Yemalia had made the two women firm friends, after all your feelings towards someone changed when you'd saved each others lives. Cordelia wasn’t too proud to admit that if it hadn’t been for Faith (Faith the soldier, Faith the brave and loyal friend) she’d be dead about now. In a way Cordy pitied Buffy for missing out on a true friendship like the one she had with Faith.

“Look,” Faith pointed on down the road towards the forest that the road disappeared into, “there’s a house or something we’ll take a rest there, how are you for painkillers?”

“About half a bottle left,” Cordy patted the pocket that contained the bottle of little white pills, “I don’t want to use them now, I’d rather keep them for night time so I’m not kept awake by this damn leg!”

“Sensible,” Faith nodded her agreement; but what would happen if they were here longer that the pills lasted?

Covering the last stretch of road to the cottage at the edge of the wood, Faith signalled to Cordy to take cover in the roadside ditch. With Cordy watching her back, Faith dumped her pack before taking her shotgun in both hands and sneaking up to the house to check it out.

Running up to the cottage, Faith jumped over the low picket fence that surrounded the building and stopped with her back against the wall of the house. Looking along the front of the dwelling she checked all was clear before moving towards the rear of the building. Pausing at the corner of the wall, Faith cautiously looked around and into the back yard. Here she saw piles of freshly chopped firewood and a carpet of wood-chips around a much used chopping block.

Shotgun at the ready, Faith moved swiftly along the line of the wall looking into the dark interior as she passed the windows, she saw nothing suspicious. Coming up to the back door she paused for half a second, hearing nothing untoward she raised her foot and kicked in the back door. Bursting into the kitchen, Faith let her shotgun track around the darkened room as if looking for target all by itself. Finding nothing hostile, she moved over to another doorway where again she paused before moving further into the house. Satisfied that the building was clear of any threats, Faith opened the front door and called out to Cordelia.

“CLEAR!” Faith left the door open then moved back into the house.

Hearing Faith’s cry, Cordy climbed out of the ditch back up onto the road. MP5 in one hand and Faith’s pack in the other she made her way along the road to the cottage’s garden gate. Admiring the roses around the door, Cordelia was just about to join Faith inside the house when she heard as sort of rattling, clanking noise behind her. Dropping Faith’s pack, turning and bringing her MP5 up to the ready all in one fluid movement, Cordy found herself facing some kind of robot.

The machine had two arms and legs attached to a cylindrical body, its head had a human looking face but the top of its head looked like a cone which sort of spoiled the human look of the silver thing. As did the large, sharp looking axe that the robot brandished in it’s right hand. It came towards Cordy, with its axe raised above its head, at a fast walk squeaking and clanking loudly. Slipping off the safety catch of her MP5 Cordy fired a short burst at the manic robot and watched in horror as he rounds stitched a line of small dents across its body.

“FAITH!” Cordy yelled as she gave ground and fired another burst; apart from making the robot wobble a little and chipping its paint work, her fire had little effect.

Hearing the burst of automatic fire from outside, Faith ran for the front door, just as she was bursting out into the garden she heard Cordy yell and fire again. Ducking back into the doorway, she raised her shotgun to her shoulder before moving more cautiously out into the garden. There she saw the robot advancing on Cordy as the Marine fired short bursts into its body.

“DOWN!” Faith shouted and watched as Cordy hit the dirt. 

As soon as Faith saw that Cordy was out of the line of fire she fired into the back of the robot. Caught unawares the machine almost stumbled to its knees but managed to save itself by grabbing hold of the ivy that grew up the cottage walls. Recovering quickly the robot turned to face the new threat.

Seeing the lines of dents in the robot’s body work, Faith flipped her selector to three round bursts and fired again. Twelve gauge shot rattled and blasted against the robot, like Cordy’s 9mm rounds they failed to penetrate but they did make bigger dents and did blow the metal creature off its feet. Discarding her shotgun, Faith drew her H&K Mk23 .45 calibre pistol. Rushing over to the fallen robot she slammed down on its axe arm with her left foot while standing astride the machine. Aiming at the robot’s head she fired into its face until it stopped moving. Its head, which had been punctured by multiple hits, now looked like a colander.

“Gotcha!” Faith exclaimed as the robot stopped moving and smoke started to drift up from the machine’s joints and the holes made by Faith’s bullets. Slipping the empty magazine from her pistol and slamming home a fresh one she turned to where Cordy lay, “You alright Cordy?”

“You mean apart from being almost deafened,” Cordelia pushed herself to her feet, “yeah I’m fine, just fine!”

0=0=0=0


	5. Chapter 5

5.

**Further along the Yellow Brick Road.**

The forest was dark and grim, great trees grew closely together their leaves and branches blocking out all but a dim, green light. Undergrowth encroached on the Yellow Brick Road as it wound its way between the trees. It was here that Chika, Whoop Leader of the flying monkey force sent to this part of the forest decided to set up his check point. The truth was there were in fact several Yellow Brick Roads, true they all led to the Emerald City by various circuitous routes but no one knew precisely which of these roads the two human women had taken. Standing in the middle of the road with his hands on hips, Chika looked in the direction from which the humans were supposed to approach. Turning slowly he came face to face with his Whoop Sergeant, a grizzled veteran of twenty years service to the Wicked Witch.

“Well, what do you think?” Chika wanted to know; he was a sensible leader and listened to the advice of his senior flying monkeys.

“As good a place as any, W-L,” replied Whoop Sergeant Etima, he pointed down the road, “we can put an OP down the road to warn of their approach,” turning slightly the old flying monkey gestured to a fallen tree that lay several yards from the road, “the cut-off party can go behind that and…” Sergeant Etima turned around and pointed in the direction of the Emerald City, “…be could have the main ambush sight at that bend there, Sir.”

“Yes,” Chika nodded his head slowly, “that’s more or less what I’d thought, but…”

“But?” Etima raised an eyebrow at his officer wondering what the young chimp had in mind.

“Well, Sergeant,” Chika gestured for Etima to walk with him a few yards along the road where the rest of the whoop wouldn’t overhear their discussions. “I was thinking,” he paused for a breath, “if one of these humans is a formidable warrior as the reports suggest…well I was thinking that a little subterfuge might be in order.”

“What had you in mind, Sir,” Sergeant Etima nodded his head more than willing to hear what his officer had to say.

0=0=0=0

“…so there I was,” Faith was regaling Cordy with a story about her first time in Yemalia, “with half the Skinnies in Mogador chasing my hot, white, ass when I come ‘round this corner and what do I see?”

“The suspense is killing me,” Cordy’s leg was aching again and it was making her a little bad tempered; while she knew that Faith was only trying to pass the time as they walked and her stories were funny, her leg was making her snap a little at her friend.

“Hey!” Faith sulked, “If ya don’t wanna hear the end ya only have to say!”

“Sorry Faith it’s…” Cordy began to say she was sorry for being cranky.

“The leg?” Faith asked sympathetically before looking at her watch, “Hey look we could stop for a break if ya like?”

“No, I’m fine,” Cordelia smiled bravely, “I can go on until…” Cordy’s voice faded away for a second before she asked, “…what the hell is that?”

Turning slightly to follow Cordy’s gaze, Faith saw the sign for the first time, it read; ‘Oz Department of Public Works (Highways) Toll Road’. The sign looked as if it had been written by someone who’d just graduated from writing in crayon. It was nailed crookedly onto the trunk of a tree near the road side. Further along the road the two women could see what looked like soldiers guarding a roughly hewn pole that had been placed across the road.

“Okay,” Faith said slowly having given the woods around them a suspicious look; her ambush cramps were bubbling away again, not that they’d completely gone away since they’d been in this weird land.

“No need to panic,” Cordy said slowly, “this could all be very normal…in an odd sorta really dangerous kinda way.”

“Yeah,” Faith nodded once again eyeing the trees, unlike the apple trees these ones didn’t look as if they were going to come alive and attack them, “look, we’re low on ammo so let’s not fight unless we have to, okay?”

“Okay,” Cordy agreed, “we just go up there and find out what they want, right?”

“Right,” Faith nodded determinedly as she started forward again, “we can always back off and work our way round through the trees.

As they got closer, Faith saw that the soldiers at the barrier were in fact large monkeys with bat like wings sticking through the backs of their uniform jackets. They wore grey and black disruptive pattern camouflage fatigues with light blue berets set at a jaunty angle on their heads. The four or five monkeys at the barrier all carried full size copies of AK47’s in their hands.

“I’ll do the talking,” Cordy whispered out of the corner of her mouth as they drew up to the barrier, “Hi guys!” she smiled brightly at the tough looking monkey soldiers, “Like, what’s going on here?”

“Official road toll,” announced a senior looking monkey in surprisingly good English.

“Okay,” Cordy nodded reaching for one of the pockets in her flight-suit, “how much?”

“One million West-gilders…” the older monkey grinned exposing large, sharp looking teeth, “…a league.”

“American Express?” Cordy offered the monkey her credit card figuring she could get it back off the DOD as this was official business.

“Sorry lady,” the senior monkey shook his head sadly, “we only accept cash.”

“Oh!” Cordy glanced at Faith who just stood there and shrugged, “I’m sorry but I don’t carry that sort of money around with me, you know how it is?” Cordy fixed the monkey with one of her best glares, “What with all the _highway robbery,_ you get nowadays!”

“Sorry lady,” the monkey shrugged, “I’m just doing my job, but…”

“But?” Cordy looked down at the monkey who came up to about her chest.

“But…” the monkey looked Cordy straight in the boobs, “…if ya had something to trade, me an’ the guys we could let ya through.”

“Trade?” Cordy asked suspiciously and noticing for the first time where the monkey was looking. “Hey!” she took a step away from the monkey and his fellows, “You wanna…?” Cordy stammered, “I mean…that’s so…like…so…EWWW!”

“Hey!” the monkey looked up at Cordy his eyes wide, “What?” he stepped back from Cordelia a little, “No offence lady,” gasped the monkey, “but you’re soooo the wrong species! No I meant something else.”

“Like what,” Faith stepped forward, smirking at Cordy’s discomfort.

“Well,” the monkey shrugged, “I don’t know…” he paused as if thinking very hard, “…maybe if you happened to have a pair of ruby slippers about your persons?”

“Oh!” Cordy smiled with relief that she wasn’t going to have to get all sweaty with the monkey just to get through the road block, “Is that all,” she continued happily, “it just so happens…”

“L-t!” Faith said warningly, but it was too late.

“…that I have a pair of ruby slippers in my…” Cordelia stopped talking as Faith’s AS2 boomed into action.

A couple of the monkeys went down immediately as Faith tracked towards the other two.

“I THOUGHT YOU SAID NO FIGHTING!” Cordelia yelled through the gun smoke as Faith’s weapon spoke again.

This time Faith’s shot hit nothing, the two surviving monkeys having dived into the underbrush. Moments after the monkeys had disappeared a heavy automatic fire was opened on the two women as they ducked into cover.

“I thought you said ‘no fighting’,” Cordy snapped at Faith as she sent short bursts of fire at muzzle flashes dimly seen in the undergrowth, “I thought someone said we hadn’t got enough ammo to be getting into firefights,” Cordy shot a monkey as he tried to move closer to the road, “I thought we were going to try and talk our way out of this!”

“Hey,” Faith glanced over her shoulder at Cordy, “I thought you Marines were all heart breakers and life takers, and could keep a SECRET!” Faith shot down three monkeys who’d bunched up as they moved around a tree. “Quit complaining an’ keep shootin’!”

“Just you wait until I get you home!” Cordelia called over the sound of a long burst she sent towards a group of monkeys about twenty-five metres away from her.

“What ya gonna do?” Faith fired and shot a monkey out of a tree, “Spank me, coz it looked like ya were willing to ‘spank the monkey’ there for a minute!”

“WHAT!?” Cordy screamed as she paused to change mags, “I’ll report you to…AAAGH!”

There was a loud *WHOOSH-BANG!* as an RPG flew through the air and exploded against a tree not far from where Cordy lay.

“Let’s get the fuck outta here!” Cordy yelled, her ears still ringing from the explosion.

“Okay,” Faith called as she fitted a full magazine to her shotgun, “right when I give the word, run as fast as you can that way,” Faith pointed in the direction of the Emerald City, “Okay?”

“OKAY!” Cordy checked her magazine was full and prepare herself to run for her life.

Popping up like some heavily armed, grim faced jack-in-the-box, Faith began to steadily pump rounds into the thick undergrowth. The heavy ‘00’ buckshot ripped through the leaves of bushes and flowering shrubs to hit unwary monkey soldiers as they tried to worm their way forward and attack the two women.

“RUN!!!” Faith yelled at the top of her voice.

Springing to her feet, Cordy began to run like she’d never run before, she ran like all the DI’s on Parris Island were after her along with all the vampires and demons from Sunnydale. Her pack bounced on her back as she pounded down the brightly coloured road way. Keeping her head up she saw a monkey land in the road ahead of her, it brought its assault rifle up even as its wings folded in against its back. Pointing her own weapon, Cordy fired; hours of practice proved their worth as her burst caught the monkey from groin to throat. Blood flew everywhere as the monkey threw up his arms and fell to the road surface just as Cordy barrelled by him.

Running onward she noticed vague shapes in the road side bushes, she treated each one to a short burst of fire, she didn’t know whether she’d hit anything as she didn’t stop to find out. Eventually no more targets presented themselves so she started to slow down. Glancing over her shoulder she saw no sign of pursuit so she slowed to a stop and threw herself into the cover of the road side ditch. Shrugging off her pack, Cordy used it to block up the ditch and give her more cover. Resting her MP5 on her pack she took aim on the road expecting to see Faith pounding down the road behind her, but she saw nothing. There was no sign of her friend anywhere, but, Cordy could still hear the sound of firing from up the road.

0=0=0=0

Triggering her shotgun, Faith was gratified to see the monkey soldier almost blown in two as the special, anti-demon, iron buckshot ripped through his body. Feeling some thing grab the pack on her back and try to pull her down, Faith turned slightly to her right and lashed out with the butt of her AS2 at her assailant. The butt of her weapon made solid contact with her attacker sending him reeling away from her clutching his broken jaw. Continuing her turn she was just in time to jam the muzzle of her weapon into the solar plexus of a monkey who was about to stab her with the bayonet on the end of his rifle. The monkey doubled over and threw up on the road as he dropped to his knees.

Firing twice more and cutting down more monkeys as they charged towards her, Faith felt her AS2 run dry, discarding the empty weapon and hardly pausing, she bent and picked up the AK47 of the fallen monkey at her feet. Sending a hail of bullets towards this new group of assailants, Faith watched as two of their number fell and the rest ran off down the road. Firing off the last few rounds in the AK she tossed it to one side and snatched up her shotgun again before swapping magazines. Realising that no new monkeys had presented themselves for the slaughter, Faith started out after Cordelia firing the occasional shot at any monkey that was foolish enough to show himself.

0=0=0=0

“FAITH!” Cordelia called as she saw her buddy trotting down the road towards her.

“Cordy!” Faith said with more than a little relief, “You okay? I was beginning to think you’d run all the way to the Emerald City without stopping!”

“Yeah I’m fine,” Cordelia climbed out of the ditch favouring her right leg a little as she did so, “but you look like crap, I hope that blood isn’t all yours.”

“Say what?” Faith looked down at herself and noticed all the blood splashed on her uniform, “Crap!” she gasped, “Where’d all that come from?”

“Here,” Cordy helped Faith off with her pack, “better check you out.”

“Hell, I’m not…” Faith tried to slip the strap of her pack off her left shoulder but stopped halfway, “Oww! That hurt!”

“Yeah, I’m not surprised,” Cordy examined the bloody hole in Faith jacket, “looks like someone stabbed you.”

“Hell, I never even noticed that!” Faith let Cordy help her off with her pack and then let her help her off with her jacket. “Oh, crap,” Faith said as she looked at the wound that oozed blood onto her t-shirt and down her arm, “I’ve had worse.”

“So I’m told,” Cordy used her K-bar to cut Faith’s t-shirt away from the wound, “how many Purple Hearts is it now?”

“I forget,” forgetting she had a hole in her shoulder, Faith shrugged and winced, “I lost count after number three…”

“That’s the one you got for being shot in the ass, right?” Cordy smirked as she used some water to wash the wound, “Hey,” Cordy peered at the wound, “that doesn’t look too bad, it’s clean and doesn’t look too deep. That Super Soldier healing thing you’ve got going for you should see you okay.”

Being careful Cordy started to apply a dressing to Faith’s arm. 

“Okay!” Cordy smiled as she tied off Faith’s dressing, “That should work as long as we don’t have to fight any major battles in the next twenty-four hours.”

“Yeah, right,” Faith gingerly moved her shoulder, finding it didn’t hurt too much she started to pull on her jacket, as she turned to Cordy and asked, “You up to putting a couple of miles between us and the battle before we take a break?”

“I’m fine,” Cordy reassured Faith, “I could even manage three miles if you really though…”

“SHH!” Faith held up her hand for quiet, “I can hear something growling…”

“Oh!” Cordy sighed as she looked heavenwards, “give us a break will you!?”

0=0=0=0


	6. Chapter 6

6.

**The Yellow Brick Road.**

“What do you think it is?” Cordy nervously scanned the forest from over the top of her MP5.

“Could be a lion,” Faith shrugged as she joined Cordy in checking out the undergrowth between the trees, “or a tiger,” a smile appeared on Faith’s lips as she noticed the worried look on Cordy’s face, “or maybe it was a bear…I heard there’s loads of bears in this here forest.”

“There are?” Cordy turned worried eyes on Faith; as far as she was concerned lions, tigers and bears should all be safely locked up in zoos.

“Yeah or maybe it was a…!” Faith never got to finish her sentence because a man-sized beast of some kind jumped up on a tree stump and growled at them.

Well, the creature didn’t exactly ‘growl’, it sort of said the word ‘growl’ followed by the word ‘roar’. The two young women were so astonished by the creature’s unexpected arrival that neither of them shot the animal out of hand but stayed watching it in stunned silence. Leaping from the tree stump the creature landed in the bracken before it sort of bounced up onto a small bolder by the road side. From there it bounced again this time landing next to Faith and Cordy forcing them to sit down hard on their butts. From this position they both stared at the creature in surprise.

“Put ‘em up, put ‘em up!” demanded the creature in heavily accented English as it stood on its back legs and took up a boxer’s stance.

Sitting on the ground, Faith and Cordy studied the creature in something close to amusement. This strange creature looked like a lion; or better yet, a man in a badly fitting lion suit complete with tail.

“Which one of ya first?” the lion-creature wanted to know as it continued to wave its paw-like fists around as it looked from Cordy to Faith and back again. “I’ll fight you both together if ya want.”

“Say what?” Faith started to push herself up off the road way.

“Don’t antagonise it!” whispered Cordy who was still sitting on the ground.

“I’ll fight ya with one paw tied behind my back,” announced the lion-man.

“Come on Marine,” Faith called, “get up off ya fat ass an’ watch me kick this critter right offa the planet.”

“HEY!” Cordy cried indignantly, “I have _not_ got a fat ass!”

Whether Cordy had a fat ass or not was unimportant, but Faith’s words had got her off her butt.

“I’ll fight ya standing on one foot,” the lion-man demonstrated by standing on one foot.

Watching the lion-man for a moment, Faith soon realised that he wasn’t a threat and could safely be ignored despite his bluster.

“I’ll fight you with my eyes closed,” the lion-man seemed to realise he was losing his audience and his words became more urgent.

“Oh, gonna run off eh?” the lion-man took a couple of ineffectual swipes at Cordy when he saw her back off a little, he turned to face Faith who’d started to move towards him, “Sneaking up on me eh?” the lion-man said ‘roar’ again which made Faith snigger.

“Okay, bozo,” Faith sighed, “you’ve done the comic interlude, now get outta here before I make ya!”

“Oh scared of me are ya?” sneered the lion-man.

“Say what?” Faith gave the same sort of look to the lion-man that she normally reserved for people who claimed to have nuclear warheads hidden in tins of beans.

“Afraid huh?” the lion-man continued unfazed by Faith’s look of disdain, “Come on and fight me, girlie!”

“Girlie?” Faith almost pulled her pistol and shot the lion-man there and then; however the lion-man turned his attention back to Cordy.

“Put ya fists up, or is that lopsided ass of yours too big!?!?” the lion-man demanded as he unknowingly signed his own death warrant.

“LOPSIDED ASS!?” Cordelia screeched as she automatically checked out her butt before clutching her MP5 in preparation for filling the lion-man so full of holes anyone would think he’d been attacked by moths.

“Hey!” Faith pulled her pistol and pointed it at the lion-man, “What ya wanna say something like that for?”

Faith had always considered that Cordy had a good figure and her ass wasn’t at all lopsided. If Cordy wasn’t an officer and not gay, she’d have seriously considered her as a romantic partner. However, one of her best friends and a comrade in arms had been grievously insulted by this flee-bitten rug on legs.

“Hey!” Faith called again, “Flee-bag,” the lion-man turned to face her, “get outta here before I shoot ya!”

“AAAGH!” the lion-man screamed like a little girl as he stared down the cavernous maw of Faith’s pistol, “Please don’t shoot me,” sobbed the lion-man in terror, “I didn’t hurt ya.”

“No,” Cordy stepped over to stand next to Faith, “but you wanted to…” Cordy watched the tears roll down the lion-man’s face impassively, “…so what kind of demon are you?”

“But ya don’t have ta pull guns on me,” snivelled the lion-man, “what sorta women are ya to do somethin’ like that?”

Faith and Cordelia exchanged a look, shrugged and turned back to the tearful lion-man.

“Get outta here,” Faith told him as if he was of no account.

“Yeah,” Cordy agreed as she turned to pick up her pack, “get lost.”

“NO!” sobbed the man-lion, “You’ll just shoot me as I walk away!”

“I’ll shoot ya if ya stay,” Faith warned, “now get outta here!”

“No you’ll…AAGH!” Screamed the lion-man as Faith fired a couple of rounds into the road between the creature’s feet. “AAAGH!” repeated the lion-man as he lost control of his bladder and urinated on the road.

“Ewww!” Cordy gasped as she started to put her pack back on.

“Oh please don’t kill me!” begged the lion-man, “I’m worthless I’ve gotta small dick and girls avoid me even in chat-rooms…I have to pay them to like me…”

“Just go will ya?” Faith gestured to the forest before carefully putting on her own pack so as not to jog her injured shoulder.

“NO!” Wailed the lion-man, “You’ll shoot me in the back!”

“Oh, screw this!” Faith lifted her pistol and shot the lion-man between the eyes.

“Took your time,” Cordelia observed, “I could see he was pissing you off.”

“Yeah, well,” Faith made her pistol safe before putting it back in its holster, “he said your ass was lop-sided…”

“Hey, I never knew you cared,” Cordelia shrugged as she looked down at the dead lion-man, “pity really.”

“Pity?” Faith looked at Cordelia in surprise, “What ya mean pity?”

“Look,” Cordy gestured at the dead beast, “if we had the time we could skin him and make him into a rug!”

“Yeah,” Faith smiled seeing the possibilities, “that woulda been so cool!”

0=0=0=0

**Headquarters of the 103rd Guards Flying Monkey Air Assault Division, Munchkinville.**

“So,” The Wicked Witch of the West said slowly, “they’ve broken through our cordon.”

“Yes your Wickedness,” agreed General Pusha a worried frown on his face.

“Don’t worry,” the witch laid a supportive hand on Pusha’s shoulder, “I don’t blame you or your troops, these human women are truly formidable fighters or powerful witches.”

“Indeed,” Pusha agreed relieved that he wasn’t going to lose his job, “however my scouts have been able to follow them through the woods.”

“And?” the witch prompted.

“It’s as we feared, your Wickedness,” the general pointed to a map, “they’re heading for the Emerald City.”

“Curses!” cried the witch, “And what news of the Ruby Slippers?”

“From debriefing the survivors,” General Pusha held up a fistful of reports, “it would appear that the taller of the two humans has them in her pack.”

“What are the humans doing now?” the witch wanted to know.

“They are continuing along the Yellow Brick Road,” the general brought himself to attention, “shall I move troops to intercept them before they reach Poppy Fields?”

“No,” the witch shook her head slowly, “I will not risk the lives of anymore of my troops trying to stop these humans.” The witch remained silent for a moment as she tried to think of the best course of action, after a moment or two the witch cackled loudly. “I think its time to try other means.” She studied the map for a moment longer, “I shall dispatch some of our air recon assets to tell us when they leave the forest, then once they get to Poppy Fields…” the Wicked Witch laughed wickedly, “…they’ll walk into my little trap!”

0=0=0=0

**The Yellow Brick Road.**

Wishing to put flying monkey checkpoints and dead lion men well behind them, Faith and Cordy had marched on down the Yellow Rick Road further than Faith had intended they should go before stopping. Eventually Faith called a halt just inside the tree line. Taking off their packs with grateful sighs they sat on the grass under the trees and looked out over the fields of poppies that danced in the breeze under a blue sky. The Yellow Brick Road led straight through this swaying, scarlet sea; in some places the poppies had overgrown the roadway hiding it from sight. But, there in the distance they could see where it reappeared and it snaked between lush, green fields towards the Emerald City itself.

“Wow,” Cordelia sighed as she sat down and looked at the City as it rose between two low hills.

“Yeah,” Faith nodded her agreement, “looks like we can get there before the end of the day…” Faith remembered Cordy’s injured leg so she modified what she’d said to give her friend an out if her leg was hurting too much for her to go on. “If that’s okay with you, L-t?”

“Yeah it’s fine,” Cordelia gave Faith a sideways look, “and my leg’s fine, thank-you for asking.”

“Am I that obvious?” Faith asked as she pulled a snack from an opened MRE packet.

“Subtle as a brick,” Cordy confirmed, “so how far do you think it is?”

“Difficult to say,” Faith squinted at the city, “there’s nothing to give it perspective, but,” Faith shrugged, “I reckon we’ll be there before night fall.”

“Great!” Cordy sighed, “Hopefully we get to sleep in beds tonight and be home tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Faith glanced up at the birds that wheeled across the sky, “hope so…hey those are big birds.”

“What?” Cordy looked up and saw the creatures, “Never knew you were interested in bird-watching Chief.”

0=0=0=0

**Headquarters of the 103rd Guards Flying Monkey Air Assault Division, Munchkinville.**

“There they are,” chortled the witch.

Both she and General Pusha watched the picture that had appeared in the oversized crystal ball that the Witch’d had brought into the command post. It was linked directly to the recon birds that the witch had sent to observe Faith and Cordelia.

“Ha-ha!” Laughed the witch, “Now I have you my pretties!” Picking up a bubbling pot that had red steam issuing from its top, the witch made some magical passes over the crystal ball, “There it is done!”

“Erm,” the general’s brows creased as he frowned up at the witch, “What’s done?”

“Move your troops forward a little, General,” the witch instructed, “I have just laced Poppy Fields with a powerful sleeping draft. As soon as the humans enter the fields they’ll become sleepy and before they’ve gone more than a few yards they’ll be sleeping the sleep of the just!”

“Erm,” General Pusha thought he saw a flaw in Her Witchiness’ plan, “but surely if my troops move in to retrieve the bodies won’t they fall asleep too.”

“Don’t worry,” the witch replied reassuringly, “the potion is tailored to affect only humans.”

“Right then,” the general nodded, “I’ll deploy my troops.”

0=0=0=0

**The Yellow Brick Road.**

Walking briskly along the road, Faith and Cordelia entered the edges of he poppy fields, no sooner where they a few yards in that Cordy started to yawn.

“What’s wrong,” Faith asked; Cordy’s yawns were making her start to feel tired, “keeping you up?”

“Yeah,” Cody stopped and yawned extra hard, “I’m suddenly feeling real…” once again Cordy yawned, “…sleepy…I’ll…just…” she sat down on a bed of poppies, “…take a break…for…”

It took a moment for Faith to realise that the strange sound she could hear was Cordelia’s snoring.

“Come on, Marine!” Faith tried to pull Cordy to her feet, “Up and at ‘em!” Pausing in her efforts, Faith yawned and sat down next to Cordy, “Or maybe not…” she yawned again as her eyes started to close, “…maybe I’ll…”

Very soon the only sound to come from the field of poppies was the sound of Faith and Cordy’s snoring.

0=0=0=0

“Okay you apes,” Colonel Custa rose from cover in the treeline, “you wanna live forever?”

“Well yes, actually,” replied the well educated voice of a young flying monkey; but the colonel was now too far away to hear as he led his troops forward towards the spot where the human women slept.

In a long skirmish line the flying monkeys ran, hopped and flew across the grass that separated the forest from the field of poppies. It was just as the lead soldiers had arrived at the limits of the poppies that the first warnings were shouted.

“AIR RED! AIR RED!” came the call to Colonel Custa’s ears; he looked upwards and searched the sky, it only took him a moment to spot the danger.

“MOVE!” he urged his flying monkeys forward as he readied his assault rifle.

High above the flying monkeys a purple ball of light started its approach as it swooped down on the exposed monkeys. Dropping through the air the ball was met by a hail of Anti-Broomstick fire from the twin 23mm auto-cannons deployed along the treeline just in case of this very eventuality.

Undeterred the ball sped towards its intended targets spitting pink balls of death as it closed with the ground forces. Pink flashes chewed up the ground around the lead monkey elements. Flying Monkey troopers screamed and twisted in agony as they were cut down by the magical fire. A hail of rifle and light machine gun fire was directed up at the purple sphere as the auto-cannons continued to blast away. Having finished its attack run the purple ball rose into the sky this time pursued by shoulder launched Surface to Witch missiles that flashed through the air drawn to the sphere’s magical field like moths to a flame.

The purple ball spat pink fire once again exploding one missile before it had a chance to hit is target. However, the second missile flew on until its proximity fuse told its warhead to detonate. There was a sharp crack as the missile blossomed into smoke and flame just behind the purple ball. Shrapnel ripped through the sphere’s magical field and it started to issue forth black smoke as it wobbled through the air. Inside the sphere, Glinda struggled with the controls of her magic ball.

“Curse you!” Glinda screamed insanely as she saw her plan for Oz domination thwarted.

Half heartedly she sent a weak burst of pink fire towards the flying monkeys as they closed in on the human women, if she couldn’t have the humans and the Ruby Slippers the Wicked Witch wouldn’t have them either, she’d see them destroyed first.

0=0=0=0

Earth erupted all around as flying monkeys screamed and fell to the ground torn apart by Glinda’s sickeningly pink fire. Running forward at the head of a small band of troopers Colonel Custa saw the human women lying amongst the poppies.

“MOVE IT!” he yelled as he sent an ineffectual burst of fire after the rapidly departing witch.

“Shall we take ‘em both?” called a trooper as he helped to pick up Cordelia’s limp body.

Looking from his trooper to the smoke trail in the sky and then looking at the human, Colonel Custa quickly made up his mind. They had the taller of the two women and he didn’t know how badly the insane pink witch’s ball was damaged, she could be back any moment.

“No!” he yelled backing away from where Faith lay, “We’ve got the one her Wickedness wants, get outta here before the Pink Bitch comes back!”

0=0=0=0


	7. Chapter 7

7.

**Poppy Fields.**

“Oh my head,” Faith groaned as she placed her hand on her forehead and tried to sit up without throwing up.

Her head was pounding like the worst hangover she could ever remember and her mouth tasted like a rat had crawled in there and made a nest. Sitting on a bed of poppies, Faith held her head in her hands for fear that it might fall off. After a moment or two the world stopped spinning and she risked taking one hand away from her head and sent it in search of the water bottle on her belt.

Taking a mouthful of water, Faith washed out her mouth before drinking, feeling the cool liquid slide down her throat she started to feel human again. Rubbing her eyes until she lost the foggy lens effect she’d been living with since she'd woken up, she looked around. The poppies closest to her were trampled and flattened, others were scorched as if by fire. Here and there lay the bodies of dead flying monkey soldiers and spent cartridge cases glinted in the grass under the early morning sun.

“W-what?” Faith croaked, she coughed and drank a little more water, “What the hell?”

Turning slightly Faith saw the sun just above the horizon, she must have slept the remainder of yesterday and all last night away. Pushing herself to her feet, Faith picked up her assault shotgun and checked it was loaded, next she looked around again only to see more dead flying monkeys and scorched ground. It was then Faith realised there was something missing.

“CORDY!” she yelled making herself wince at the sound of her own voice, “EL-TEE?” Turning through three-hundred-and-sixty degrees, Faith saw no trace of her buddy, “Crap,” she added when she saw there was no sign of Cordelia, “at least it looks as if she’s been captured and not killed.” 

The mist that had been clouding her memory was lifting a little and Faith started to review her memories from the day before. They’d seen the Emerald City, she turned to look, the city was still there shining greenly in the dawn light. Next they’d started to cross the great expanse of poppies, Cordy had complained of feeling tired until she’d eventually sat down and fallen asleep. Faith could remember a great weariness come over her until she too had sat down and fallen into a deep sleep.

All the dead monkeys must have happened after they’d fallen asleep. Examining the closest dead flying monkey, Faith saw it was wearing the same uniform as the flying monkeys who’d tried to stop them earlier. Just for a moment, Faith smiled at herself; it was odd but now she didn’t think that flying monkey soldiers were all that weird, it was amazing how people could adapt. So where was Cordy? Who’d killed all the flying monkeys and why had she been left behind? These were the first questions that popped into her mind, she was sure she’d think of others like, what was happening to Cordy now.

Just for a moment images of Cordy locked in a dark, dank cell entered Faith mind. What if whoever was torturing her? One thing was sure, she had to find her friend and soon. Cordy had spent nearly six months as a prisoner of the Raisuli in Yemalia. Okay, the Raisuli was a decent guy he’d not exactly kept Cordy locked up in a dungeon or anything but, Faith wasn’t sure how Cordy would react to being a prisoner again, she had to find her and find her soon. But, Faith looked from the poppy fields back to the woods, which way should she go? Just at this low point in her life something happened to make things just that little bit worse.

“Oh no,” Faith groaned as she looked up into the sky.

There, heading towards her and trailing a little streamer of smoke came a purple ball. The sphere grew in size until it hovered a few inches off the ground in front of Faith. Watching the ball and waiting for the pink witch to appear, Faith noticed that the sphere didn’t look quite as purple and magical as it had the first time she’d seen it; it looked slightly out of shape and sort of dented plus there was the dark smoke that drifted from what looked like holes in its surface. Before Faith could take in any more details the purple ball vanished and the pink fairy witch stood in front of her clutching her cheap looking wand in her hands.

“Hello again my dear,” Glinda began as she stepped closer to Faith, “how are you? Not too fatigued from your latest adventures I hope?”

“I’ll live,” Faith growled; she studied the witch closely for a moment and noticed the smut on her cheek and the way her tacky pink crown sat crookedly on her head, “where’s Cordy?”

“That’s what I’ve come to tell you,” Glinda smiled and her eyes took on an insane glint that made Faith clutch her weapon, “your friend has been captured by the Wicked Witch.”

“SAY WHAT!?” Faith yelled, if she’d known which way to go she’d have started to search for her friend right about now.

“Yes,” Glinda sighed sadly and dropped her gaze until she was looking at one of the dead flying monkeys. “She sent her soldiers after you so that when her potion made you fall asleep they could grab her and take her back to her castle.” Glinda wiped a tear from her eye, “I tried to fight them off and save your friend but there were too many of them…”

That would explain why Glinda’s flying bubble looked a little worse for wear.

“So,” demanded Faith, “where did they take her?”

“To the witch’s castle yonder,” Glinda pointed to some mountains in the distance, “were she’s no doubt torturing your friend for her own perverted pleasure!”

“Oh crap!” Faith turned until she was facing the mountains, it looked like it would take a day maybe two to reach them and then she’d need to find the castle.

“And, while I realise that to you your friend is the most important thing here,” Glinda continued, “but this means that the Wicked Witch has the ruby slippers.”

“Screw the ruby slippers,” Faith snapped, “just tell me how I find the witch-bitch’s castle.”

“Here,” a map appeared in Glinda’s hand, “this will tell you how to get to the castle.”

“Can’t you fly me there?” Faith asked as she studied the map; she’d been right it looked like a couple of days march.

“Sorry,” Glinda smiled, “but it sustained damage during the fight and it can’t take passengers at the moment.”

“God-damn-it!” Faith cursed.

“You must hurry,” Glinda urged, “who knows what vile depravities the Wicked Witch is inflicting on your friend…right now!”

For a fleeting moment Faith saw images of Cordelia being forced to perform erotic cheerleading routines for the flying monkeys.

“You must find your friend,” Glinda’s words seemed to reverberate around Faith’s skull, “you must rescue her, kill the Wicked Witch and retrieve the ruby slippers…and bring them back to me.”

“Yeah,” Faith nodded her head slowly, “right…on it!”

“Good,” Glinda smiled the smile of the criminally insane, “good luck my dear.”

A minute later Glinda had vanished into her purple bubble and lifted off into the air, within moments the bubble was just a dot on the horizon.

Standing as if in a trace Faith gazed after the witch and her bubble before shaking her head to get rid of the cotton wool feeling, she looked at the map once more. Her initial assessment had been right, it did indeed look like a two day march to get to the castle. But, Faith was a super-soldier with super-soldier powers. If she ran she’d get there in half the time and arrive at night. In the dark she could fight her way into the castle and free her friend, they’d be long gone by the morning. Swinging her pack onto her back, Faith checked that all her equipment was secure. Hanging her weapon around her neck she took another look at her map before starting off at a ground eating pace towards the mountains in the distance.

0=0=0=0

Over hill and valley; through forests and fields, over rivers and ditches, Faith ran stopping only to eat and drink before continuing her quest. Eventually she came in sight of the Wicked Witches castle perched high up on a rocky crag. The light was beginning to fail as she slowed to a more cautious pace as she started to notice more Wicked Witch Forces activity.

Here the Wicked Witch had deployed more human looking troops to protect her base of operations. These troops looked almost humans apart from their green skin, Faith remembered that the Wicked Witch had green skin, so these troops must come from her own tribe or whatever. The green skinned troops were dressed in the same type of camouflaged uniforms as the flying monkeys had been; except that instead of light blue berets these wore tan coloured ones. The green troops carried AK47’s, light machine guns and RPG’s, plus there seemed to be a lot of them. Obviously the Wicked Witch was worried that the down trodden masses might rise up and overthrow her.

Sneaking through the trees to avoid the witch’s troops, Faith started to realise that her original plan of simply fighting her way into the castle probably wasn’t going to work. There were too many troops for even her to take on, plus she was low on ammunition and she was carrying no explosives or Claymores. No, if she wanted to rescue Cordy she was going to have to be a little more subtle.

By the time she’d realised this, Faith was in sight of the castle. It stood on a crag with a steep roadway leading up to the gate. At the base of the crag she could see more of the witch’s troops dug in with anti-aircraft weapons, mortars and heavy machine guns all behind thick barbed wire entanglements no doubt there’d be mines and booby traps too. Looking up at the castle she could see more troops patrolling the walls while more AA guns searched the skies for targets.

“Damn-it!” Faith cursed quietly as she hid behind a tree.

There seemed to be no way in that wasn’t covered by at least a squad of infantry. Okay she could take down a squad by herself, but if just one of the soldiers got off a shot there’d no doubt be a quick reaction force breathing down her neck in seconds. As she’d often noted to herself and her growing collection of Purple Hearts would confirm; she might be a super-soldier but bullets could still kill or injure her.

Leaning her back against the tree trunk, Faith shook her head in sorrow, she was out of options. She couldn’t fight her way in and out with any certainty of success, leaving Cordy to her fate was also out of the question. There was in fact only one sure way of getting into the castle alive that had any hope that she and Cordy would get out alive.

Climbing to her feet, Faith walked around the tree and up the slope towards he first of the enemy positions. The soldiers in there sandbagged position quickly saw her and covered her with a machine gun telling her to drop her weapon and put her hands up. Slowly Faith took her shotgun and laid it on the ground before raising her hands above her head. Suddenly a squad of soldiers came through a gap in the wire to her left and surrounded her.

Standing there with her hands above her head, Faith was quickly and efficiently stripped of all her weapons and equipment. These guys were good, Faith noted, there was no brutality they just went about their business quickly and efficiently, they found all of Faith’s concealed weapons even the garrotte she kept sewn into the collar of her jacket. When the guards were satisfied that Faith had no more weapons they ordered her to follow the path into the defences.

As they moved, Faith noticed how the soldiers kept their distance and how there were always at least two with an unobstructed line of fire at her. After walking through the positions at the base of the crag, Faith found herself standing on a road surrounded by her captures who watched her like hawks waiting for her to try and escape. They needn’t have worried, she’d no intention of trying to escape, at least not yet.

“Chief Warrant Officer Lehane?” asked a green skinned soldier; although he was dressed no differently to the other soldiers this ‘man’ had the air of an officer about him.

“Yeah,” Faith replied, the time for name, rank and number would probably come later.

“Oh jolly good!” the officer smiled, “please lower your hands.”

“Say what?” Faith frowned as she let her arms drop to her sides.

“Yes, yes I’m so sorry about all this,” the officer gestured to all the warlike preparations around them, “but you can never be too careful.” The officer signed sadly, “Too many people are misguided enough to want to see the down fall of her Wickedness for us to relax our guard even for a moment…I’m sure you understand these things being a soldier yourself.”

“Yeah,” Faith nodded a wry smile on her lips, “like sure.”

“Oh I’m so glad you understand,” the officer waved and a jeep-like vehicle was driven over, “if you’d like to get in I’ll take you to see your friend Lieutenant Chase, she’s been most concerned about your safety.”

“She has?” Faith was beginning to think that things weren’t quite as she’d expected them to be.

Sitting in the back of the jeep with the officer, Faith was driven up the hill to the main gate of the castle. Here she was asked to get out of the vehicle and the officer handed her over to another officer, this one dressed in a more ornate uniform than the combat troops outside. Her gear was handed over to a different pair of soldiers who took it into the castle.

“Don’t worry,” the second officer said, “your equipment will be returned to you later…now I expect you want to see Miss Chase, perhaps have a shower and change into something more comfortable?”

“Yeah sure, why not,” Faith shrugged, if this was the Wicked Witch’s way of putting people off their guard she could see how it would work.

Led through the gate and across a courtyard, Faith started to memorise the lay out of the castle. The officer led her through a door and into a corridor. As they walked down the passageway Faith noticed more soldiers working busily in offices. Although there were a lot of guards she noted that they were pretty unobtrusive, she also noted that they all looked pretty alert. Obviously they were relieved at regular intervals so they didn’t become inattentive due to boredom. This place looked like it’d be a bitch to break out of.

Eventually they came to a wide brightly lit hallway or lobby. The officer smiled at Faith as he called for an elevator. Only moments later a bell *dinged* and the doors of an elevator slid silently open. The officer gestured for Faith to precede him into the lift. The elevator jerked into motion and Faith guessed they’d gone up maybe two floors. The doors opened onto another lobby this one containing the usual guards plus a female soldier in skirt and blouse.

The officer handed Faith over to the female soldier with a polite smile before re-entering the elevator and leaving. The young green woman led Faith along carpeted corridors until they came to a door at the far end where she paused and knocked. There was a muffled shout of ‘Enter!’ from the other side of the door. The girl opened the door for Faith and spoke for the first time.

“Lieutenant Chase will see you now, Ma’am,” the girl nodded to Faith before leaving her slightly confused on the threshold.

0=0=0=0


	8. Chapter 8

8.

**The Wicked Witch’s Castle.**

“FAITH!” Cordelia cried happily as she saw her friend walk hesitantly into the room.

Just at that very moment Cordy was lying on a comfortable looking couch while half a dozen green skinned, black haired maidens in short scarlet tunics, pampered her whim like it had never been pampered before. Two green girls worked assiduously on Cordy’s toes with nail files, while two more were busy painting her fingernails. A fifth stood behind her massaging Cordy’s shoulders while the sixth girl held a glass of some kind of drink that seemed to consist mostly of fruit so that Cordy could sip it through a straw.

“I see ya resisting their diabolical torture with every fibre of your being,” Faith replied as she moved a little further into the room.

“Torture?” Cordy frowned, “Who said I was being tortured?”

“Glinda,” Faith replied still not sure what to make of the present situation.

“Oh,” Cordy nodded her head before turning to the girl holding her drink, “Zippi, go help the Chief get comfortable.”

The girl put down the glass, stood up and clapped her hands twice, within moments four more green girls all dressed in the same short scarlet tunics appeared from a door at the far end of the room. Suddenly Faith found herself surrounded by pretty, green, giggling girls who started to unbutton her jacket and unlace her boots.

“Hey!” Faith cried as her jacket was pulled gently from her shoulders and another girl started to undo Faith’s trousers, “What’s goin’ on here?”

“Relax,” Cordy told her, “you’ve been taken in by Glinda, its nothing to be ashamed of most people are.”

“What are ya talking about, Cordy?” by now Faith was down to her underwear which the girls were in the process of removing.

Once they had Faith naked one of the girls produced a long silk robe, just like the one Cordy was wearing and helped her put it on.

“Look,” Cordy gestured for her girls to stop doing what ever they were doing while she talked to Faith, “Glinda is the bad guy here…”

“Say what?” Faith found herself being led over to a couch that had been placed next to Cordelia’s by even more girls who’d pushed it silently into the room before quietly leaving again.

“The Wicked Witch explained it all to me,” Cordy smiled as Faith was led over to her couch and helped to sit down.

“You sure about this?” Faith didn’t like this, well she ‘liked’ it; she couldn’t ever remembered being pampered like this and if this was pampering she wanted more, but the whole ‘Wicked Witch’ thing was still bugging her, “You sure you’ve not been brain washed or something? I mean the Wicked Witch is ‘Wicked’, right? The name sorta gives it away.”

“Wrong sort of ‘wicked’,” Cordy informed Faith.

“There’s another kinda wicked?” Faith tried to ignore the two girls massaging her feet while the another two worked to remove the dressing on her shoulder.

“Of course!” Cordelia picked up her drink and took a long sip before turning to look at the green girls huddled all around, “Hey!” she said sharply, “You guys are slipping the Chief’s been here five minutes and no ones given her a drink!”

There were cries of dismay from the serving girls as two of them got up and ran from the room only to reappear a moment later carrying trays loaded down with all different kinds of liquid refreshments.

“I don’t think I’m that thirsty,” Faith said quietly before choosing a drink that looked similar to Cordy’s, she sipped it through the straw provided and felt the exotic flavours explode on her tongue. “Wow!” she gasped before turning back to Cordy and asking, “Like I said, there’s another kinda wicked?”

“Yeah,” Cordy took another sip of her drink, “there’s the ‘wicked’ that means, cool and good and definitely not evil.”

“So, ya tryin’ to tell me that this Wicked Witch woman is like ‘wicked’?” Faith was slowly figuring out what Cordy was trying to say.

“Like, totally,” Cordy nodded, “she’s awesome wicked, not like that pink bitch Glinda.”

“Oh I get it!” Faith snapped her fingers as the pieces of the puzzle fitted together in her mind. “This is one of those beauty isn’t always good and evil isn’t always ugly things right?”

“Erm, right,” Cordy gave Faith a slightly confused look.

“Like we’re all programmed to think that all that’s good is beautiful and all that’s ugly is evil,” Faith explained, “those Greek guys way-back have a load to answer for coz like beauty so often covers some pretty serious evil, I mean look at you.”

“I’ll take that as a complement…just,” Cordy watched Faith suspiciously as Faith took another long slow sip of her drink, “hey, where’d you learn all that stuff anyway?”

“Oh,” Faith lay back on her couch and started to enjoy her foot rub, “when I was an MP, there were long boring night duties with nothing to do so I used to read.”

“Right,” Cordy looked at Faith with new found respect, “Whatever, look you better let the girls give you a shower and I’ll have them prepare a meal while you clean up. Big day tomorrow,” Cordy’s ever present smile got that little bit more sunnier, “we’ve got an audience with the Wicked Witch herself!”

0=0=0=0

Over the next hour or so Faith was washed, dried, pampered and cared for in ways she’d never been cared for before. The green girls seemed willing to do anything, and Faith did mean _anything_ for her, once or twice she found it all a little embarrassing, being surrounded in the shower by pretty, giggling, naked green girls who simply had no shame!

Not only did they pamper her, they also had a medic come and treat the stab wound in her shoulder. Although Faith wasn’t particularly worried about the knife wound, her super-soldier healing would deal with it and any infections, but it was nice to have a professional look at it and bind it up. The medic put some balm on the cut before applying the new dressing; she told Faith that by the morning the wound would be healed and there’d be no scar to show that she’d ever been stabbed.

Having been washed, scrubbed, beautified and generally pampered to within an inch of her life, Faith was led back into the room where she’d first seen Cordy. The two couches had been removed and replaced by a round table and two chairs, the table was set for an intimate dinner for two. Moments after Faith had arrived, Cordy appeared dressed in a different silk robe from the one she’d had been wearing and hi-heeled fluffy slippers. Very much like the outfit that Faith was wearing; Faith also quickly noticed that, like herself, what you could see was all that Cordelia was wearing.

After an excellent meal, the two friends chatted about their adventures for a while. Cordy explained how she’d been brought to the Witch’s Castle were she’d been interrogated. The green skinned officer who’d been asking the questions had quickly realised that Cordy had been lied to and was not an agent of the mad, bad, pink, witch, Glinda. As soon as it was realised that Cordelia was in fact a victim of the pink witch’s machinations, she was taken from the small cell where she’d been held and bought to this apartment.

“Its not like they tortured me or abused me in anyway,” Cordelia reassured her friend, “they were always proper and respectful not like…” Cordy paused as she remembered less respectful people, “…well, not like before, okay?”

Although Cordy tried not to let her experiences in Yemalia colour her attitudes to people, the memories still haunted her and gave her bad dreams.

Eventually they both started to yawn and decided it was time to go to bed, they’d had little chance to relax or sleep much since their arrival in Oz. Although Faith could deal with the lack of sleep and rest, it would be nice to sleep in a comfortable bed on clean sheets and not be drugged.

After being shown into a luxurious bedroom, Faith checked all the doors and windows, no one was hiding in the closets or in the en suite bathroom waiting to jump out at her, Next she checked for cameras and microphones, again she found nothing, but that didn’t stop her from switching out the lights before she took her robe off and climbing into bed. As she lay there feeling the satin sheets caress her body and slide sensuously over her skin, she heard her door open and close quietly.

Next, Faith heard the sound of bare feet padding across the deep pile carpet of her room. Just as she was preparing herself to fight, she now realised that everything that had happened to her had been designed to put her off her guard. She felt the weight of two bodies kneeling on either side of her bed, she felt the sheets being slowly pulled down from her chest followed by some girlish giggling.

“What the f…!” Faith began as two of the green girls from earlier in the evening slid into bed on either side of her.

There was more gentle giggling as Faith felt small, soft, hands start to caress her body, tenderly fondle her breasts and stroking her between her legs. Moaning softly, Faith knew she should push the hands away and demand that the girls leave her bed. But she'd not been with anyone since Willow and herself had broken up. So would it really matter if she just lay back and enjoyed the attentions of the two girls? No, came the answer to her own question.

0=0=0=0

The following morning, Faith awoke to find herself in bed alone. Had the events of the previous night been a dream brought on by fatigue and her apparent release from danger? Whatever the truth, she found herself awake feeling refreshed and revitalised like never before, if this was some weird form of interrogation to extract information from her she’d tell her interrogators anything they wanted to know as long as the interrogation went on and on and on!

Smiling to herself, Faith swung her legs out of bed and sat up, the first thing she saw was her uniform neatly folded up on a chair. Standing up she padded over to where her clothes lay. Picking up her jacket she found it had been cleaned, pressed and repaired, as had the rest of her clothes. Her combat boots sat side by side under the chair shining with spit polished brilliance.

“Cool,” Faith sighed as she turned and headed for the bath room.

Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, Faith studied her reflection. The previous evening she’d been scrubbed, buffed, plucked, combed and massaged until she’d glowed with health and beauty. Slowly removing the dressing on her shoulder she found that the medic hadn’t been lying, the stab wound had healed and there wasn’t a mark to show that she’d ever been stabbed.

After showering and dressing, Faith went in search of Cordelia only to find her in the same room as where they’d first met. After a long lazy breakfast the women were left alone for an hour before a military aide came into their room and told them that the Wicked Witch was ready to see them. The Aide led them along long corridors and down wide sweeping flights of stairs. They marched across courtyards and through great high roofed halls until they were eventually shown into a long brightly lit hall. 

At the far end was a podium with a high-backed chair, obviously a throne because sitting on it was the Wicked Witch herself. To their left the wall was almost entirely made up of windows that let in the morning sunlight. The opposite wall was covered in portraits of past Wicked Witches who’d ruled over this part of OZ. There were a few guards, a couple guarding the doors they’d just come through and a couple either side of the witch’s throne. The other people in the room all seemed to be green skinned male and female officers of the Witch’s armed forces, apart from one uniformed flying monkey wearing a light blue beret who stood near the witch’s throne like some sort of close advisor.

Glancing at each other, Cordelia and Faith nodded their heads almost imperceptibly. Straightening their shoulders they came to attention before marching down the long carpeted hall towards the witch’s throne. Stopping about four yards short of the podium and its throne, both women snapped parade perfect salutes.

“Lieutenant Cordelia Chase, United States Marine Corps, Ma’am,” Cordelia introduced herself.

“Chief Warrant Officer Faith Lehane, United States Army Rangers, Ma’am,” Faith added before both women lowered their arms.

“Welcome my pretties,” cackled the witch before adding, “relax, relax we’re quite informal here.” The witch got up and walked down from her podium to stand in front of Faith and Cordy, she took a while to study them closely, seemingly satisfied with what she saw the witch nodded. “I, as you’ve no doubt already guessed, am the Wicked Witch of the West, I hope you’ve both been well looked after?”

“Yes Ma’am, thank-you Ma’am,” Cordy replied for the both of them.

“Good, good,” the witch nodded as she gestured for Cordy and Faith to follow her over to one of the windows where they got a panoramic view of a large chunk of Oz. “Now they tell me that you’re not agents of that mad woman Glinda, is that right?”

“Correct Ma’am,” Cordy replied saving Faith the trouble of opening her mouth.

“Oh do relax my pretty,” sighed the witch, “I’m not going to eat you.”

“No, ma’am,” Cordy shook her head.

“And you, my pretty?” the witch turned her gaze on Faith, “They tell me you live with a witch in your own land so you know we’re not all insane like that Glinda woman.”

“Erm yes, ma’am,” Faith agreed as she decided not to explain to the Wicked Witch that her relationship with Willow had been over for some time, “but with respect,” Faith explained, “Willow’s not green, doesn’t wear black all the time and doesn’t have a hooked nose…ma’am.”

“Willow,” the Wicked Witch seemed to taste the name, “what a pretty name,” the witch sighed sadly, “I wish I had a pretty name like that, you know I’ve been, ‘The Wicked Witch’ for so long I can’t remember what my real name is.”

“I’m sure it was something nice, Ma'am,” Faith said into the silence that followed thus preventing it from stretching to embarrassing proportions.

“Indeed,” agreed the witch after a moment more, “I expect it was.” The Witch straightened and turned her gaze back to the world outside, “Now I believe that Glinda tried to get you to take the Ruby Slippers to the Emerald City, am I correct?”

Both Cordy and Faith nodded their heads.

“Have you any idea what would have happened if you’d succeeded?”

This time Faith and Cordelia shook their heads.

“A cataclysm of apocalyptic proportions that’s what would have happened,” the witch looked at Faith and Cordy with anger in her eyes, “the Emerald City would have been swept from existence and large areas of Oz would have been destroyed!”

“Erm,” Cordy cast the witch a small smile, “its just as well you stopped us, ma’am and may I remind you that none of this was our fault, we knew nothing about this,” she turned to Faith for support, “right?”

“I know, I know my pretties,” the witch gestured for Cordy to calm herself, “you were beguiled by that whore Glinda into helping her with her foul plan.”

“So,” Faith spoke up, “what did Glinda expect to gain by destroying Oz?”

“Power, my pretty, power!” the witch laughed quietly, “in the death and destruction after the explosion she intended to rise from the ashes and take control of all of Oz and rebuild it in her own image.”

“So what would be so bad about that?” Cordy asked.

“You’re kidding, right?” The Wicked Witch looked at Cordelia as if she was a simpleton, “Imagine a world built in Glinda’s fluffy, pink, image, just how sick would that be, eh?” The witch shook her head in sorrow, “There’d be no adversity only pink tinted happiness.”

“What’d be so bad about that?” Cordelia asked again.

“Without adversity, there’d be no progress,” Faith pointed out quietly.

“Exactly,” agreed the witch, “there has to be evil and pain and sadness for people to struggle against and grow,” the witch paused for a moment, “Imagine a pink coloured hell that never changed and went on for ever and ever into all eternity! And smiling down on it all like some great deaths head would be Glinda the Great, Glinda the Magnificent, Glinda the Terrible!”

0=0=0=0


	9. Chapter 9

9.

**The Wicked Witch of the West’s Castle.**

“Wow,” Cordelia said quietly, “you really don’t like her do you? I mean, ‘Glinda the Terrible’…?”

“It’s not a matter of likes or dislikes,” replied the Witch, “in fact once upon a time we were close friends until…” the Witch turned her face away from Cordy and appeared to be dabbing at her eyes with a black lace hankie; when she turned back to face Cordelia she seemed to have regained control of her emotions. “…it’s to do with what’s best for Oz, my pretties.”

“Uh-huh,” Faith nodded her head slowly, “an’ you of course know what’s best for Oz.”

“I know that this inter-factional fighting has to stop,” the Witch explained, “and now I have the Ruby Slippers in my hands…”

“Yeah, what are ya gonna do with those?” Faith wanted to know.

“At the moment they are safely under lock and key,” explained the witch, “while I make arrangements for their destruction.”

“Oh, I can see how you’d want to get rid of them,” Cordy agreed, “I mean I bet you’ve got nothing to go with them and hey,” Cordy pulled a face that fully expressed her feelings of contempt for the shoes, “sparkly shoes? That’s so disco!”

“Whatever,” Faith glanced at Cordy in disapproval, “so, look; we were told that this Wizard guy could send us home, so can you help us get to this Emerald City.”

“Well,” the Witch started to move slowly back towards her throne, “yes and no…”

“What’d ya mean, ‘yes and no’?” Faith asked with just a hint of menace.

“Well,” the Witch was by now sitting back on her throne, “you see the truth is that the Wizard could indeed send you home,” the Witch paused to let that sink in, “but…”

“But?” Faith and Cordelia replied in unison.

“But he won’t,” the Witch sighed sadly.

“Say what?” Faith demanded.

“What do you mean he won’t?” Cordelia added.

“He just won’t,” the Witch continued, “he’s an unpleasant little man who rules over the Emerald City with a fist of iron, mercilessly stamping out any opposition to his reign and sending hundreds to the emerald mines every year.”

“Emerald mines?” Cordelia’s eyes lit up at the idea of emerald mines.

“So ya saying that that this wizard guy is some sorta dictator?” Faith asked.

“Yes,” the Witch nodded, “and what’s worse he’s preventing me from sending you home.”

“You can send us home?” Cordy forgot about the emerald mines for a moment.

“Yes, of course,” the Witch nodded, “if the Wizard wasn’t blocking my power.”

“Okay,” Faith frowned, she didn’t know much about magic but she’d once heard Willow say it was possible to block or deflect magic, “so how does he do this and how do we stop it from happening?”

“Well, you see,” the Witch leaned towards Faith and Cordy, “he has an Orgone Accumulator buried under the city, not only is it the source of all his power but he also uses it to limit the power of other magic users thus preventing them from attacking the city with magic.”

“So, what does this ‘Orgone Accumulator’ do, exactly?” Cordy wanted to do.

“It accumulates Orgones,” replied the Witch slightly puzzled by Cordy’s question, “I thought that was obvious by its name.”

“No,” Faith interrupted, “what the L-t means is; what’s an ‘Orgone’ and what does he use them for?”

“An Orgone,” began the Witch as she rested back in her throne, “is a particle of free floating magic, the accumulator collects these particles and stores them. Then he uses them to boost his own natural power, you see it makes him feel greater.” The witch continued, before standing up again as the house lights started to dim. From somewhere behind the Witch’s throne a base guitar started to play as a microphone appeared in her hand and she started to sing…

_He’s got an Orgone accumulator  
It makes him feel greater  
He'll see you sometime later  
When he’s through with his accumulator  
It's no social integrator  
It's a one man isolator  
It's a back brain stimulator_

_It's a cerebral vibrator…_

“I bet he gets through a lot of batteries,” Cordy quipped.

“A cerebral vibrator?” quieried Faith, “That can’t be good for ya.”

Her Wickedness continued after a short pause.

_…of Orgones!  
Energy stimulators  
Just turn your eyeballs into craters  
But an Orgone accumulator  
Is a superman creator  
It's no social integrator  
It's a one man isolator  
It's a back brain stimulator  
It's a cerebral vibrator  
Of Orgones!*_

As soon as the Witch stopped singing and sat down again everything went back to normal like it had never changed.

“Oh I get it,” Cordy nudged Faith, “he’s one of those power mad, crazed dictators out for world domination unless a couple of plucky hero types can bring him down!” Cordy smiled up at the Witch before adding, “Now I wonder where you’re going to find a couple of heroes around here?”

“Weeell…” the Witch began but was interrupted by Cordy.

“Okay sister,” Cordelia crossed her arms over her chest, “we get the picture you want us to go in there, take out this Orgone thing and then as a reward you’ll send us home right?”

“That’s about the size of it,” the Witch smiled.

“What I don’t understand,” Faith added slowly, “is why you can’t send some of your own people in?”

“Oh it’s quite simple, my pretties,” cackled the Witch.

“It is?” Cordy and Faith chorused once again.

“Of course,” agreed the Witch, “its all a matter of colour.”

“Colour?” Faith and Cordy continued in harmony.

“You see,” the Witch stood up and headed towards a table loaded down with coffee and doughnuts, “instead of being a sensible shade of green like my people, or indeed,” the Witch gestured to the high ranking flying monkey who’d been hovering nearby, “furry like one of my brave flying monkey soldiers. The wizard and the inhabitants of the Emerald City are a sort of pinky-white colour rather like your good selves.”

“Okay,” Cordy glanced at Faith and got an almost imperceptible nod in answer to her unspoken question, “what’s the plan, assuming that we agree to go in there and take down this accumulator machine.”

“My staff will go over the details with you later,” the Witch licked sugar from her fingers as she ate a jelly doughnut, “but basically you’ll be flown to the City by some of my Special Flying Monkey Service troopers. You’ll infiltrate into the city, and plant explosives in and around the accumulator before escaping the city and being picked up by more of my SFMS troopers and flown back here so I can send you home.” The Witch wiped her hands on a paper serviette, “We’ll supply you with clothes and papers to help you pass as residents of the Emerald City, plus all the explosives and weapons you’ll need…” the Witch smiled wickedly, “…so what do you say?”

0=0=0=0

**Faith and Cordy’s rooms, some time later.**

“Ya think we’re doin’ the right thing?” Faith asked as she slipped into the long emerald green dress she’d been given to wear.

“What do you mean?” Cordy admired herself in a full length mirror before glancing over her shoulder at Faith, “Do you think this shade of green goes with my eyes?”

“Ya look stunning…” Faith replied.

“Well duh!” giggled Cordy, “Don’t I always?”

“Clothes horse,” Faith muttered under her breath before saying in a louder voice, “Look what I’m saying is, are ya sure we’re doing the right thing here? After all you’re the officer so if it all turns to crap its you that gets drummed outta the Marines. All I say was ya told me to do it and get let off…zip me up would ya?”

“Sure,” Cordy crossed the room and zipped up Faith’s dress, “lets look at this logically,” Cordy helped Faith straighten her dress while she spoke, “this wizard seems like a typical dictator type, right?”

“Yeah,” Faith nodded her agreement as she looked at herself in the mirror, “but we only have her Wickedness’ word for that.”

“Well, we can check things out when we get to the city,” Cordy pointed out reasonably.

“True,” Faith twisted left and right making her long dress sweep across the floor, “what’s with the long dresses? They’re gonna make running difficult.”

“You mean you never ran for your life in your prom dress!” Cordy asked in surprise as she remembered struggling through the woods near Sunnydale with Buffy as they were being chased by a bunch of crazed hunters.

“Say what?” Faith looked at Cordy in confusion.

“No,” Cordy shook her head, “I don’t suppose you have,” she added wistfully, “just be thankful these things aren’t tight fitting…say,” Cordy glanced at Faith, “what did you wear to your prom?”

“Didn’t go,” Faith lied, having no memory of High School Proms or even very much about High School, “but I had some nice outfits for when I used to go dancin’ with Willow.”

“I bet you did,” Cordy said quietly as she fixed her hair into what she’d been told was fashionable in the Emerald City, “But anyway the big deciding factor in whether we go through with this is who can get us home,” Cordelia pointed out, “If we get to the City and find out this wizard isn’t as bad as her Wickedness has told us then we ask him to send us home, otherwise we go through with the Witch’s plan, okay?”

“Yeah,” Faith replied uncertainly then with a little more conviction, “sure, why not? Cordy,” Faith began hesitantly.

“Yeah?” Cordy was sitting at a dressing table checking her make up while Faith fiddled with a knife.

“The other night,” Faith slipped the knife into a concealed sheath up the sleeve of her dress, “y’know after we’d gone to bed, did something…y’know weird happen?”

“What!” Cordy’s hand froze half way to her face, “No! Nothing!” Actually something weird had happened and it still made her smile as she remembered the green guy’s hands on her body and his…, “No why’d you ask?”

“Oh nothin’,” Faith shrugged and decided that this wasn’t the time or the place, “nothin’ important.”

0=0=0=0

**The Witch’s Audience Chamber at about the same time.**

Standing at the window the Wicked Witch stared out over Oz and smiled, suppressing a cackle of glee she turned and gestured for her flying monkey general to join her.

“General,” the Witch’s eyes drifted towards the horizon and the Emerald City, “as soon as the human women are in the air I want you to move your division into position just this side of Poppy Fields.”

“Of course your Wickedness,” the General nodded, “I’ve already had my staff prepare the movement orders.”

“Good,” the Witch smiled, “as soon as the humans have completed their mission and been extracted, you’ll start to move forward and surround the city. Immediately the Accumulator has been destroyed you’ll move in with your troops and take control of the city before they know what’s happening.”

“The Wizard?” asked the General.

“Died in a cowardly attempt to escape his fate while leaving his people to theirs?” the Witch suggested.

“I think I can arrange something along those lines, your Wickedness,” the General nodded in agreement, “and the human women?”

“Oh!” the Witch gasped, “Nothing is to happen to them! They are to be brought to my headquarters and I’ll try and send them home, I don’t want them in Oz any longer than they need to be.”

“Couldn’t we just…?” the General left the rest of his question unsaid.

“What, kill them?” the Witch shook her head, “Don’t you see it? They’re heroes their sort always survive and come back to seek vengeance.” The Witch shook her head, “No, best that I keep my bargain with them and send them home before they realise what they’ve helped me to do.”

“Indeed, your Wickedness,” the General wasn’t so sure about this but he was loyal and would obey the Witch’s orders whatever his personal reservations.

“That’s understood then, the human women are not to be harmed,” the Witch gazed down at her monkey general.

“Yes, Ma’am,” nodded the General, “Of course.”

“Good, then fly my pretty and set the final stages of ‘The Plan’ into motion,” the Witch cackled loudly, “Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer!”

Turning away from her general the Wicked Witch looked out over Oz once more and smiled. After so many years in the making her plan was coming to fruition. Glinda the Witch of the North was safely contained in her fairy castle in her frozen northern wastelands, her power broken for the moment. The self styled Wizard of Oz would soon meet his downfall and no doubt a grubby undignified death in some dark, back alley somewhere. Then once all the peoples of Oz where under her enlightened rule she could deal with that traitorous bitch Glinda once and for all. The Wicked Witch smiled to herself, perhaps she’d have Glinda put in an iron cage and exhibited throughout Oz as a warning. A warning of what happened to people who betrayed young, naïve, green girls and made them believe that they were her friend only to betray her and steal away her one true love.

Yes Glinda would pay, stripped of her powers and pretty dresses and stupid pink sparkly crown, she’d be held up to ridicule and public humiliation. Then, just as people started to feel sorry for her the Wicked Witch would become magnanimous and take her from her prison and set her up in some nice, candy cottage in a forest somewhere. Of course Glinda would be powerless and forced to spend her days telling fortunes for tourists and cackling insanely at small children. But the people would all say that the Wicked Witch was kind and generous even to such spiteful, deceitful bitches like Glinda.

0=0=0=0

**The highest tower in the Witch’s castle.**

Staggering slightly as the wind hit her, Cordelia looked out at Oz as the sun sank in the east. Turning she held her hand out to Faith, not that Faith needed the help climbing out onto the tower, but because Cordy felt a sudden need for human contact. The realisation that she was going to be strapped between a couple of flying monkeys and flown to the Emerald City in the dark didn’t exactly fill her with joy.

“Right then,” one of the Witch’s staff officers joined them on top of the tower, “these are the chaps who’re going to fly you to the City.”

Turning to look at the big tough flying monkeys, Cordy gulped; she had no problem with flying…in an aircraft and specifically if she was at the controls, but the idea of hanging between two flying monkeys just didn’t feel right.

“Two of these chaps will carry each of you,” the staff officer explained, “while two more will carry your kit. You’ll also have another half dozen chaps to act as an escort but we’re not expecting any trouble on the way out.”

“Yeah, right,” Cordy agreed uncertainly.

“Once you’re in the City,” continued the officer going over the main points of the mission one last time, “you complete your mission and escape and make your way to the extraction point where some of these chap’s friends will be waiting for you. Then its home in time for tea and buns.”

Looking at the officer’s smiling face, Cordy couldn’t help thinking that it was alright for him to smile and look all confident; he wasn’t going to be dangling by some leather straps over the countryside. Before Cordelia could think of a good reason that she should maybe walk to the Emerald City she found the monkey’s helping her into the harness. Once safely strapped in they climbed up onto the battlements. The sun had nearly gone down now, but it was still light enough for her to see how far it was to the rocks below.

“Ready?” asked the flying monkey to her right.

“Would it make any difference if I said no?” Cordelia had a real urgent need to pee just at that moment.

“No!” Laughed the monkey before he and his partner stepped out into nothingness.

0=0=0=0

*: The original version of 'Orgone Accumulator' was written and performed by 'Hawkwind'.

Highlight and right click to follow the link;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fJ0P1f0Ys0&list=PLVZofKaE2v2gChm9Bm_UypB_TpR6o_mk7&index=36


	10. Chapter 10

10.

**The Emerald City.**

Approaching the Emerald City, Faith and Cordy looked up in wonder their mouths hanging open. Great, green, emerald spires and towers reached for the blue sky like skyscrapers in New York, with little to gauge its size against it was difficult to appreciate just how big the city really was. One thing was for certain; the nearer to it that they walked along the yellow brick road the bigger it seemed to get.

It had only taken an hour or so for the flying monkeys of the Wicked Witch’s Special Flying Monkey Service to carry Faith and Cordelia to a wood within easy walking distance of the city. Here the two young women had pitched their tent, unrolled their sleeping bags and spent a relatively peaceful night. In the morning they’d awoken to the sound of birdsong and eaten the last of their MRE’s for breakfast before setting out for the Emerald city.

“I hope they have public washrooms,” Cordy observed as they approached the city along the narrow yellow road.

“Hey,” Faith glanced at her companion, “ya don’t look so bad.”

“There’s some things I won’t do in the woods,” Cordy replied testily, “I’m not a bear you know?”

“Marines!” Faith tutted and shook her head; however a washroom did sound good about now, “Hey look,” she pointed towards the city, “looks like there’s a gate.”

As they got closer they saw that there was indeed a gate, a rather small and insignificant looking gate, not the sort of gate that you’d expect to serve a huge emerald city.

“Perhaps it’s a service gate,” Cordy suggested as they walked up to the portal, “you know for goods and services.”

“Or maybe they just don’t let people in or out,” Faith reached for the bell pull.

“Hold on,” Cordy pointed to a sign, “it says ‘please knock’.”

“Maybe the bell’s out of order,” Faith shrugged before lifting the knocker and knocking three times.

“If this is a service gate,” Cordy looked around for and signs of security cameras; there was none, “maybe security won’t be too tough.”

The Wicked Witch’s security services had supplied them with identity papers and residents permits, but neither woman knew just how good these forgeries were. After a moment or two and before Faith could knock again they heard the sound of the gate being unbolted.

“I just hope they don’t search our bags,” Faith whispered out of the side of her mouth.

Both of them carried sports bags as luggage, underneath the spare clothes they’d been given was hidden the explosives and weapons they’d need to facilitate the destruction of the Orgone Accumulator. Finally the door was pulled open and a short, fat guy in a rumpled emerald green uniform appeared. He had a long, dark moustache to go with his short, dark hair. His uniform looked about one size too small for him and the black leather belt around his waist was obviously made for a much thinner man. The belt cut tightly into his belly making his stomach hang over the top. The man’s pistol holster had been pushed around so it was resting on the top of his right buttock and his night stick looked as if it had seen better days. If this was the best that the Emerald City’s security forces could muster neither woman was impressed.

“What do you want?” the security guard asked as he eyed Faith and Cordy suspiciously.

“Erm, we’d totally like to come in,” Cordy, being the officer, thought she’d better be their spokesperson; she gave the guard one of her best disarming smiles.

“Papers!” demanded the guard as he held out his hand; dutifully Faith and Cordy handed over their papers.

Clutching the papers in one hand the guard produced a pair of round, steel rimmed spectacles with the other. Stuffing the identity papers under one arm he used both hands to put on his glasses before checking that the papers were in order.

“Where have you been, why did you leave the city?” the guard snapped as he studied the documents held so tightly in his sweaty hand.

“I went to see my sister,” Cordy informed him; this was part of their cover to explain why they were outside the city, “she’s sick.”

“Oh,” the guard found the ‘permission to leave the city’ form and seemed satisfied, but not, it seemed, for long. “Where’s your third?”

“Our what?” Faith frowned not knowing what the guard was talking about.

“Your third, your third,” the guard snapped impatiently as Faith and Cordy exchanged puzzled looks they’d no idea what this guy was talking about, “where is she?”

“Erm,” Cordy looked desperately at Faith hoping that she’d have some idea what the increasingly agitated guard was talking about, “I’m…” a thought hit Cordy, the guard had said ‘she’ so maybe there was supposed to be a third woman with them, “…she’s sick!” Cordy replied trying to hide her panic, “She had to stay at home.”

“Yeah man,” Faith thought she needed to back Cordy up, “she was real sick sorta all green an’ throwing up.”

“It is not permitted to leave the city without your third!” the guard informed them, “I must report you…” the guard smiled lasciviously, “…or you must pay a fine and I’ll forget that you left the city without your third.”

“Fine?” Cordy said uncertainly as she noticed the guard start to unbutton the front of his trousers; she very rapidly worked out what this ‘fine’ might be.

“Now which one of you wants to pay?” the guard now had his hand inside his trousers and was searching for something.

“EWWW!” squealed Cordy like the high school cheerleader she’d not been for many years.

“Screw this,” Faith slashed the guard across the throat with the edge of her hand.

“Way to go, Chief Lehane,” Cordy said as she helped Faith catch the guard’s body and laid him out on the floor.

They stood for a moment and watched the guard choke to death as his larynx swelled and cut off his airway.

“What an undignified way to die,” Cordelia gave a slight shiver.

“Yeah,” Faith nodded as she glanced at Cordy and raised an eyebrow, “ya pants unzipped and ya dick in ya hand?” 

“Something like that,” Cordy agreed with a nod.

“Hey, we better hide the body,” Faith bent to grab hold of the now thoroughly dead guard.

“Over here,” Cordy suggested having noticed a clump of bushes nearby.

The two young women dragged the guard from the gate way and concealed him amongst the undergrowth.

“Okay,” their work done Faith looked back towards the gate, “let’s hope he’s got no friends around.”

“Now she tells me!” Cordy rolled her eyes, “Typical Ranger, choke first worry about any back-up later.”

“Hey,” Faith headed back towards the gate, “if’n ya really wanted to suck his dick you only had to say!”

“Eww,” Cordy regressed to her younger self, “gross!”

Stepping up to the gate, Faith signalled Cordy to stay back while she checked the place out. Cautiously poking her head around the gate, she found there were no more guards waiting in the little guard post behind the door. Signalling Cordy to join her the two young women made their way along a short corridor that matched the size of the gate until they came to another gate at the far end.

“Okay,” Faith breathed softly, “I’m betting we find the city on the other side of this gate.”

“Or a whole bunch of guys with guns waiting to shoot us for killing their buddy,” Cordy pointed out.

“Like I said,” Faith sniggered, “all ya had to do was open wide and get down on ya knees!”

“Rangers!” Cordy snapped.

“Pansy assed Marines,” Faith shot back as she started to push against the gate.

“My ass isn’t pansy-assed or…” Cordy lost the power of speech as the gate opened and she caught her first glimpse of the interior of the city, “…wow!”

0=0=0=0

**Inside the Emerald City.**

“Yeah, wow,” Faith agreed as she gazed up a the inside of the Emerald City.

From the outside the city had looked impressive, but from the inside it simply took the viewer’s breath away. What you could see of the city from the outside was in fact simply a huge dome with towers and spires growing from its surface. Inside the dome was hollow and sheltered the real city. Weirdly shaped towers stretched from street level to the roof acting as both buildings and supporting pillars. At street level there were wide boulevards where people walked as silent vehicles swished by.

“Heads up,” Faith whispered, “people are staring.”

“What?” Cordy blinked and tore her eyes away from the strange city, for the first time she noticed all the people walking by, “What? Yeah, right, hey!” Cordelia suddenly realised why the guard had asked them about their ‘third’ and why people were looking at them, “Oh crap!”

“What’s up?” Faith stood closer to Cordy as she scanned the street for danger.

“Look at everyone,” Cordy whispered urgently.

“I am,” Faith confirmed, “but I’m obviously not seeing what you are.”

“Look!” Cordy hissed desperately, “Can’t you see it?”

“What?” Faith demanded.

“Everyone’s in threes,” Cordy pointed out finally.

“Threes?” Faith glanced around, sure enough everyone was walking around in threes.

Three school kids, three women pushing strollers, three guys who looked as if they were going to a sports event, all in threes.

“And the clothes,” Cordy said with more than a little disgust, “like so regimented.”

Wondering what Cordy was going on about Faith checked out what people were wearing.

“Oh, yeah,” Faith noticed it for the first time; everyone was wearing green, different shades of green true, but it was green all the same, “Boring,” Faith observed before adding, “Hey we better get off the street before someone calls the cops.”

“This way!” Cordy caught hold of Faith’s arm and pulled her determinedly towards a building that had a sign saying, ‘Wash and Brush Up’ over the door.

After convincing the girl on reception that there were in fact only two of them, Cordy and Faith were led into a room containing some changing cubicles, it didn’t seem to occur that anyone would go around in groups of less than three or multiples of three. However once the receptionist had been convinced that there was a good reason why there were only two of them they were let in, as long as they paid for three.

After hesitating over whether to leave the bags containing their weapons and explosives unattended, they went into the main part of the, for want of a better word, spa. After all, as Cordy pointed out, they had the keys to their cubicles and it would probably cause more comment if they walked around with their bags than leaving them in the cubicles. The first part of the spa was like a Roman baths with steam rooms and swimming pools. After refreshing themselves and drying off, Cordy and Faith got themselves long cool drinks and sat on loungers in a garden area.

“So what do we do?” Faith asked as she sipped her drink, “Stay in here all day until its time to take out this Accumulator thing?”

“Why not?” Cordy shrugged, “At least in here no ones staring at us because there’s only two of us.”

“Yeah, ya got a point,” Faith agreed as she settled back into her lounger and prepared for a hard day at the spa. “Y’know we really should do some recon later.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cordy agreed, but not too eagerly; the last year had been pretty rough on her and she wanted to take a moment or two for herself.

Shot down, abused by militia men, captured by the Raisuli’s men, held captive for nearly six months. Then weeks spent in hospital getting her injuries treated. Finally once she was up and about, had she been allowed to take some well earned time off? No! She’d found herself seconded to the 613th Rangers, the _Army’s_ monster squad. Monsters were one of the reasons she’d joined the Marines; she wanted to get away from monsters. At least in the Marines any monsters that she came across would be human monsters and she knew exactly what to do about them.

Now after all this she was trapped in a fantasy world with witches and Munchkins and a woman from her past. Yeah, okay, Cordy liked this new Faith, liked her a lot; but, there was always a nagging feeling at the back of her mind that she might say the wrong thing at the wrong time and it might trigger something in Faith’s head. Cordy suspected that if that happened her life expectancy would be counted in seconds.

“Erm Faith,” Cordy shifted a little on her lounger.

“What ya want, Cordy?” Faith replied sleepily.

“Erm, you know I’ve been briefed about your past,” Cordelia had indeed been briefed about Faith’s past by General Mann. “All about the super soldier stuff and losing your memory…and the reprogramming by Walsh to make you into a killing machine”

“Yeah?” Faith turned her head so she was looking directly at Cordelia.

“Can’t you remember anything about before you woke up from that coma?” Cordy knew the truth about Faith’s coma, she’d been there, she’d helped Buffy and her friends fight the Mayor.

“Some,” Faith confirmed, “I can remember my mom an' dad, stuff like that, other stuff is still a bit of a blur. Why’d you ask?”

“Just curious, y’know,” Cordy smiled at her friend, “no flashbacks or anything?”

“Used to have some dreams about Walsh sticking drugs in me, stuff like that...”

“Oh god!” Cordy gasped, that must be terrible to be constantly reminded of all the experiments Walsh had carried out on you and all the stuff she'd had done to Faith.

“But I don’t get ‘em any more,” Faith laughed, “I don’t even get flash backs about getting injured any more.”

“That’s good,” Cordy agreed, “flashbacks are bad.”

“You get ‘em?” Faith asked sympathetically.

“Sometimes,” Cordy closed her eyes and just for a moment she could see the grinning faces of the militiamen as they raped her, “but I try not to dwell on it…”

“Maybe you should talk to someone about it?” Faith suggested.

“Maybe,” Cordy shook her head, “once we’re home.”

Truth was that since Yemalia, Cordy hadn’t been able to form a romantic relationship with anyone. However, she’d not been living like a nun, she still enjoyed sex but that was all it was, sex. Nothing to do with love or making a connection with someone, just the simple gratification of her body’s needs.

“You can talk to me if ya want,” Faith added quietly.

“Thanks but no thanks, Chief,” Cordy pulled down the shutters on that moment of intimacy by calling Faith ‘Chief’, she didn’t want to go there, at least not yet.

“Whatever, L-t,” Faith nodded, she knew when someone didn’t want to talk, “But whenever ya wanna talk, I’ll be around, okay?”

Before Cordelia could answer the peace of the spa was shattered as three cops burst into the room.

“There they are!” called the lead cop as he pointed at Faith and Cordy, “Grab ‘em!”

0=0=0=0


	11. Chapter 11

11.

**The Emerald City.**

The first thought that entered Faith’s mind was that maybe she shouldn’t have killed the cop on the gate; her second thought involved extreme violence. Springing up from her lounger and punching the first cop in the solar plexus gave Cordy time to get to her feet. While Faith was chopping the gasping cop on the side of his neck and reducing him to a paraplegic, Cordy had parried the night stick blow to her head by the second cop and followed it up with a side kick to his knee.

While the second cop was rolling on the floor clutching his shattered knee cap and screaming, Faith was moving in to engage the third cop. Seeing his two buddies taken down so unexpectedly swiftly he made the fatal mistake of going for his gun. While he was fumbling with his holster, Faith moved in took his head in her hands, twisted and stood back to watch him fall.

“What’s the betting they’ve got back-up,” Cordy gasped as she kicked the downed cop in the head, “OWWW!” she cried as she hopped on one foot, “No shoes!”

“Stop foolin' about, Marine,” Faith ordered as she knelt to retrieve a pistol off one of the downed cops, “go get our stuff while I look see if back-ups on its way.”

“Roger that!” Cordy replied as she headed for the changing cubicles.

Checking out the gun she’d taken from the cop (it seemed to be a pretty standard 9mm automatic pistol) Faith moved rapidly towards the entrance to the spa. Bursting out into the reception area with the pistol held out in front of her, Faith found that the first three cops had indeed brought back-up. Wasting no time on second thoughts, Faith shot the first cop in the chest as he came in through the front door. To the sounds of the receptionist's screams as she dived under her desk, Faith turned and headed for the changing rooms

“CORDY!” Faith yelled as she burst through the door, “Time to leave, NOW!”

“HERE!” Cordy tossed a short barrelled version of an AK47 to Faith.

The Wicked Witch’s people had supplied Faith and Cordy with weapons and explosive to go with their disguises and false papers. Cocking the weapon Faith was just in time to shoot another cop as he entered the changing rooms. The cop fell back crashing into the cop following him and giving Faith and Cordy precious seconds to start their get away.

“GO! GO! GO!” cried Faith as she pushed Cordy back towards the garden.

Bursting out into the area of potted palms and loungers, Faith was relieved to see it was devoid of cops just at that moment.

“This way!” Cordy pointed towards what looked like a fire escape.

Turning just in time to see three cops burst into the garden, guns drawn and ready, Faith fired at the cops hitting two of them with a short burst, while, at the same time backing towards the fire exit. Running up to the door, Cordy struggled with the push bar that was supposed to open the door.

“Damn-it!” she cried as she fumbled in a bag for a weapon, “Locked!” 

Again Faith fired a few rounds at the cops just to keep them back, “Time we were gone, Marine!” she called urgently.

Pulling an automatic pistol from one of the sports bags, Cordy loaded, pointed and fired in about three seconds. The door sprang open as the bullets smashed the lock.

“MOVE IT!” Cordy shouted as she led the way out into the open.

Dressed only in their bath robes the two young women found themselves in an alleyway behind the spa. Looking to her left Cordy saw that the alley stopped in a dead end about four yards further along. Turning to her right and starting to run she headed for the main street onto which the alley opened. Bursting out into the street the two Americans were greeted by the sounds of women screaming and men shouting in alarm.

“God-damn-it!” Faith gasped as she saw all the faces turning towards them.

There was nothing for it, pointing her weapon so it was angled to fire over the heads of the crowd, Faith fired a short burst and sent the crowd scurrying for cover. Unfortunately the sound of the shots also attracted the cops who were standing about outside the spa. The three green uniformed men turned as one and raised their pistols. Altering her point of aim, Faith emptied the rest of her magazine at the cops and cut them down to lie in a bloody heap on the sidewalk.

“This way!” Cordy called as she took hold of Faith’s arm and dragged her down the street.

Running and jumping over the prone forms of terrified citizens, Faith and Cordelia made off down the street.

“We need to get organised,” Faith called as the sound of police sirens wailed in the distance.

“You’re not wrong!” Cordy cried as she tried to hold on to her gun and bags while at the same time hold her bath robe together as she ran.

“This way!” Faith skidded to a halt and headed off down a side street once again pulling Cordy behind her.

The road they found themselves on appeared to be in a residential area, with trees, benches and a few small shops. Just as the few people wandering the street noticed the two women clutching guns, Faith chose a door next to a small deli and kicked it in. Finding herself in a short corridor with some stairs at the far end she pulled Cordy inside and wedged the door closed as best she could. Leading the way up stairs, Faith found herself on a small landing with three doors leading off it. Choosing one she again kicked it open and rushed inside. Quickly checking that the small apartment was empty, the three residents were obviously out a work. Faith went back to the door and shut it.

“We’ve probable got five maybe ten minutes until the place is swarming with cops,” Faith pointed out as she checked the street outside from the window.

“Okay! Let’s get organised,” Cordy was emptying the contents of the bag on to the floor.

Blocks of explosive, spare magazines and another short rifle hit the floor with a heavy *Thump* all mixed in with their spare clothes.

“So what do we do?” Cordy asked as she tossed a dark grey jumpsuit to Faith.

“Well I guess out cover’s blown,” Faith observed as she took off her robe and started to climb into the jump suit.

“You don’t say!” Cordy replied with heavy sarcasm as she started to zip up her own jumpsuit.

“Hey don’t get all snippy with me,” Faith was now lacing up the running shoes that went with the jumpsuit, “if you'd just given that guy a blow-job I wouldn’t have had to kill him an’ we wouldn’t have half the cops in the city after us,” Faith pointed out. “But oh no, it’s all ‘gross’ an’ ‘eww’…” Faith sniggered quietly, “…suck it up Marine!”

“Hey,” Cordy finished dressing and started to sort through their gear, “I didn’t hear any Rangers volunteering, isn’t there something about ‘intestinal fortitude’ and ‘fighting on to the objective’ in the Ranger Creed?”

“Whatever,” Faith joined Cordy by the pile of gear and fitted a full magazine to her rifle, “What have we got?”

“Another rifle,” Cordy pointed to each object as she named them, “only seven full mags now; two pistols with three mags each. C4, dets, fuse, tools plus a map of the city and the Wizard’s palace.”

“Okay,” Faith thought rapidly, “Dump the other rifle, I’ll take all the mags and one pistol. You take the other pistol and all the other pistol mags, we got a pack or something?”

“Don’t know I’ll have a look,” Cordy started to turn the apartment upside down while Faith kept watch out of the window.

“This do?” Cordy tossed Faith a woman’s shoulder bag.

“Great,” Faith put the strap over her shoulder before filling the bag with the spare rifle mags. “Put the explosive in one of the sports bags,” Faith instructed as she stuffed her pistol into a pocket, “you carry that and use the pistol for self defence leave the fighting to me, okay?”

“Okay,” Cordy nodded, “look we can’t stay here…”

“ _Citizens!_ ” as if to reinforce Cordy’s words a TV snapped on in he corner of the room, “ _Here follows an important announcement from security control._ ” Faith and Cordy watched the man on the screen in fascination. “ _Earlier today our great city was infiltrated by two foreign saboteurs bent on spreading death and destruct through out our fair city._ ”

“Crap!” breathed Faith quietly.

“Double crap,” agreed Cordy.

“ _You can help your city’s security forces by remaining calm,_ ” instructed the man on the screen, “ _and staying indoors, even now the forces of truth and justice are closing in on these foreign assassins!_ ”

Standing up Faith moved to the window again and pulled the net curtain to one side, she had just enough time to shout “CRAP!” before a bullet smashed the window near her head.

“AAGH!” cried Cordy as she headed for the floor; looking up she saw Faith with her back to the wall between the two windows over looking the street, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Faith gave a curt nod, “Looks like these guys are playing for keeps.”

Thinking quickly, Faith realised she’d made a rookie mistake. In situations like this you needed to keep moving so the security forces couldn’t pin you down and contain you. Okay, she thought, she’d screwed up but if she acted now they could still get out of this alive.

“Got everything?” Faith asked as she moved cautiously away from the window.

“Yeah,” Cordy nodded as she put the strap to the sports bag with the explosive in it across her shoulder and checked her pistol, “What now?”

“Like you said we can’t stay here,” Faith moved towards the front door.

“Right!” Cordy agreed; okay, she told herself, time to act like an officer and take charge…if Faith would let her, “Look, I know this sounds like stating the obvious,” Cordy followed Faith out the door and up the stairs to the next landing. “But once we’ve lost these bozo’s,” by now they’d started on up to the top landing, “what you say we go straight for the wizard. Forget about waiting ‘til tonight, lets do it now.”

“Say what?” Faith glanced back at Cordy.

“Go for his palace now,” Cordy grinned, “it’s the last thing they’ll expect.”

Faith moved a chair until it was under a skylight, she climbed up on the chair and carefully opened the window before checking outside.

“Looks clear,” she called back to Cordelia.

“Well?” Cordy demanded.

“Sounds like a plan,” Faith looked down at Cordy and grinned murderously, “Rangers lead the way!” she called as she climbed out onto the roof.

“OOO-RAH!” Cordy agreed and threw the bag of explosive up to Faith before climbing up herself.

Once up on the roof, Faith led the way over the green roof tiles until they came to the end of the block. Either the ECPD weren’t that good or they didn’t have enough cops in the area yet, the upshot of it was there was no one to stop them climbing down a fire escape and making their way through the gardens at the back of the apartments.

“Hold on!” Cordy had the map out and was studying it close, “Lets move like we’ve got an objective, okay?”

“Yes Ma’am!” Faith chuckled before adding, “Ya know ya so hot when ya do the officer thing.”

“Yeah and I intend to keep it that way, look,” Cordy turned to show Faith the map, “I reckon we’re here, right?” Faith studied the map for a moment before nodding her head, “The wizard’s palace is here,” Cordy moved her finger and again Faith nodded her head, “that’s about six blocks…”

“So, lets move-it before the place is swarming with cops,” Faith started off through the deserted garden heading in the general direction of the Wizard’s palace.

“You’ll get no argument from me,” Cordy called as she tagged along behind Faith.

Trotting through a passageway between two apartment blocks, the two women came out into another quiet, tree lined street to see a police cruiser and the two cops belonging to it standing a couple of yards down the street from them. Swivelling on the balls of her feet, Faith turned to face the cops and put one round each into their chests. The cops went down to lie in pools of blood on the cobbled street.

“Great! Cordy snapped, “Now everyone knows where we are!”

“Stop whining Marine!” Faith was already half way to the car, “I’ve got us a lift…you drive!”

“What!?” things were moving a little faster than Cordy usually liked it, but she climbed into the car and found herself staring at unfamiliar controls.

“Lets move-it!” Faith cried as she looked out of the rear window watching for any sign of pursuit.

“Hold on,” Cordy cautiously tried a couple of controls.

“Now would be a good time,” Faith pointed out as she saw three cops start down the street towards them; a frightening thought suddenly hit her, the cops here moved in threes, she’d shot two so where…?

“AAAGH!” Cordy screamed as the third cop popped up in front of the patrol car.

Mashing down on what she hoped was the accelerator, Cordy was gratified to see the cop disappear under the wheels of the cruiser as the car lurched forward.

GOT IT!” Cordy cried loudly as the wheels bumped over the cop.

Picking up speed, Cordy aimed the car towards the far end of the street as bullets flew over the top of the car or clanged into its rear end. Turning right at the end of the road, she heard Faith fire two single shots at the pursuing cops.

“Hit them?” Cordy asked as she rapidly became familiar with the controls.

“One down,” Faith replied as she calculated how much ammo she had and the probable strength of the ECPD; she came up with a large shortfall, she’d run out of rounds long before she ran out of cops.

“Cordon up ahead, what do I do?” Cordy called as she eased off the accelerator a little.

“SPEED-UP!” Faith cried as she turned in her seat to see a wooden barrier across the road along with two cruisers and half a dozen cops. “Crash it!” Faith instructed as she leaned out of the passenger window.

Pressing down hard on the accelerator, Cordy felt the car pick up speed sluggishly just before the yammer of Faith’s rifle drove all coherent thought from her mind. A couple of cops threw up their arms and fell almost immediately to Faith’s first burst of fire. The surviving cops dived for cover behind their patrol cars before starting to fire back. Bullets clanged into the car as they hit the wooden barrier and Faith fired steadily at the cops who were now exposed to her fire.

They swerved down the road chased by a few rounds fired by the surviving police, Faith changed magazines.

“Down to six, Cordy,” Faith pointed out, “This can’t go on.”

“I know!” Cordy skidded into another side street as she made random turns in the hopes of throwing off their pursuers.

“Look,” Faith watched the deserted streets around them for trouble, “we’ve got to break contact or we’ll never get to the wizard’s joint.”

“I’m trying,” Cordy explained as she turned the wheel and drove them out into a wide plaza. “CRAP!”

Staring out the windscreen, Cordy and Faith saw that the plaza was full of just about every cop they’d not already shot. Lights flashed on top of cruisers and cops pointed pistols and shotguns from the cover of their cars.

“BACK UP! BACK UP!” Yelled Faith as she turned to find their escape route had already been blocked off; Faith looked at Cordy and sighed sadly, “Looks like we’re screwed…what ya wanna do?”

0=0=0=0


	12. Chapter 12

12.

**The Wizard’s Palace, Emerald City.**

“How ya doing?” Faith asked as she lowered herself slowly onto the floor of the cell where she and Cordy awaited their fate.

“Not so bad,” Cordelia replied as she shifted slightly on the hard floor, “considering I’ve had the crap kicked out of me!”

Settling down next to Cordy, Faith raised an eyebrow as she looked at her companion; to be honest the beating they’d received from the cops after they’d been captured in the plaza hadn’t seemed too bad to her. But of course, she was a super-soldier, a product of a government lab, all her bruises and cuts would be gone in a day or two; Cordy’s wouldn’t. After driving into the plaza and being surrounded by what looked like the entire ECPD Faith and Cordy had surrendered. There’d been no way to fight their way out and their escape route had been effectively blocked off.

On the plus side they’d not been shot out of hand or even while trying to escape, but, they had been worked over by the cops once they were in the Wizard’s Palace where the cops seemed to have their headquarters. It had all been well organised; one cop held a shot gun on them while two or three cops took it in turns to work them over. Of course Faith was used to worse than anything the cops could do, her body was designed to soak up this type of punishment, not that she enjoyed it, but she could live with it. Unfortunately Cordy’s body hadn’t been designed to resist this sort of abuse.

Luckily the cops hadn’t gone too far and had stopped before they did any real damage, but the fact still remained that Cordy was one big walking bruise. In a way Faith could understand the cop’s actions, she’d lost track of how many Emerald City cops she and Cordy had killed. Just because she understood the cops actions didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to kill every last one of them for what they’d done to Cordy. Faith smiled; ‘what they’d done to Cordy’. Not what they’d done to Cordy and herself, just ‘what they’d done to Cordy’. Cordy was cool, a little self-obsessed at times, but otherwise cool and a good officer; Faith felt totally loyal to her friend, she’d never let her down and she hated seeing her hurt. For a moment or two, Faith wondered if she felt that way because she’d been designed that way or she was that way naturally.

“One the plus side,” Cordy’s voice broke in on Faith’s musings, “my leg doesn’t hurt any more…” Cordelia sobbed quietly, “…everywhere else hurts too much for me to feel my leg.”

“Hey,” Faith put her arm around Cordy’s shoulder and gave her a gentle hug, “we’ll get outta this crap hole…”

“Ow!” Cordy moaned, “Not so tight.”

“Sorry,” Faith eased up on Cordy’s shoulder, “but we’re getting outta here…”

“On out feet or in body bags?” Cordy asked miserably as she let herself rest against Faith’s body, “Hey!” Cordy looked up into Faith’s face, “How come you’re not feeling like you’ve been used as a football at the Super Bowl?”

“Super soldier that’s me,” Faith shrugged, “they’d have to shoot me before I’d slow down.”

The sound of keys in the lock made the two women look up at the door.

“Okay you two,” the cop stood in the doorway to the cell, night stick in hand; Faith could see several more cops standing in the corridor outside. “Oh y’feet, the Lord Protector wants to see you before your execution.”

“Execution!?” Cordy looked at Faith, desperation in her eyes, she didn’t want to be executed, “Aren’t we supposed to get a trail first?”

“A trial?” laughed the cop as several of his buddies piled into the cell; they forced Cordy’s and Faith’s hands behind their backs and cuffed them. “Why waste time on a trail?” the cop asked as the other cops pulled the two women from the cell and into the corridor. “Everyone knows what you’ve done, why bother having a trail?”

“He’s got a point,” Faith observed as they were pushed roughly down the corridor towards a heavy door, “it’s not like there’s any doubt that we shot all those cops.”

“Hey!” Cordy gave Faith a sharp look, “Whose side are you on?”

“I’m just sayin’,” Faith shrugged as she started to work on breaking free of her cuffs.

“Look!” Cordy tried to turn so she could see the cop that was doing all the talking but got a nightstick thrust into her kidneys for her trouble. “OWWW!” she cried out, but kept on talking after she’d regained her breath, “I demand a trial, there might have been mitigating circumstances…” Cordy thought of something, “…she,” Cordy nodded her head towards Faith, “she, might have made me do it, did you think about that?”

The cops kept silent as they marched down more corridors and up a couple of flights of stone stairs.

“Gee, thanks,” muttered Faith as she loosened the cuffs, she just needed a little more time to get them off and then these bozos were dead meat.

“Tell it to the Lord Protector,” snarled the chief cop as he pushed them through a large double door into a huge emerald green chamber, “The prisoners, Lord Protector.”

“Ah, excellent, Captain,” came a voice out of nowhere, “bring them forward.

Once again Faith and Cordy found themselves being pushed further into the chamber. As has been already stated the chamber was big…really big, it must have been at least two stories high and a couple of hundred feet long by half that wide. Great, billowing curtains covered sections of the smooth green walls. The floor looked as if it was made of highly polished jade while at the far end was a podium with a great jade throne. The cops escorted Faith and Cordy forward until they were sanding in the middle of the hall.

“Y'know, Cordy,” Faith said just loud enough for the guards to hear, “I’m getting sick of green.”

This comment earnt Faith a blow to the back of the legs with a nightstick; she smiled a little as she stumbled forward. She’d need to flex her arm muscles without the cops noticing. Her stumble had given her the opportunity and now her hands were free.

“Enough!” a figure in a green uniform appeared from behind one of the curtains he walked briskly towards the little knot of cops and prisoners; the cops backed off but not too far. “I'm the Lord Protector,” announced the man.

He was a little taller than Faith but shorter than Cordy; he was chubby, balding and pumped up with his own self importance. Typical 'Evil Overlord’s trusted Lieutenant', thought Faith with an inner sneer. His type could be trusted because he’d never have the courage to do anything without the big man’s approval. No doubt he was also vindictive enough to hunt down anyone who threatened his boss and the status quo.

“I rule over the Emerald City in the Great Wizard's name,” he announced.

“Jerk,” Faith muttered and was immediately hit on the side of her knee by one of the baton wielding cops; going down on one knee Faith took the opportunity to check on the positions of the cop guards and to see if there was anyone else in the room.

“While your guilt is obvious,” the Lord Protector pumped himself up to his full five-foot-six, “and you should be executed for your crimes, I’m willing to show leniency if you tell me who sent you here and what you were sent to do…”

“The Wicked Witch sent us!” Cordy burst out before the Lord Protector could finish what he was saying, “We were supposed to blow up the wizard’s Orgone Accumulator machine thing…” Cordy smiled as best she could through cut lips, “…so, you’ll set us free, right?”

“No,” the Lord Protector shook his head, “but instead of being tortured to death in the main plaza, a process that takes several days I might add,” the Lord Protector sneered nastily, “you’ll be taken out and quietly shot.”

“Oh,” Cordy slumped in disappointment, “well,” she shrugged, “that’s got to be better than being tortured to death.”

“Look,” Faith climbed slowly to her feet, “how about we hear what the big wizard guy has to say.” Faith took a couple of deep breaths getting plenty of oxygen into her blood in the process, “We only accepted the witch’s offer coz we wanted to get home, we never got a chance to do anything coz your boys jumped us…”

“After you’d killed the Gatekeeper,” the Lord Protector pointed out.

“But he was corrupt,” Faith pointed out, “he wanted Cordy to give him a blow job before he’d let us into the city…”

“So you could perform acts of sabotage,” the Lord Protector’s voice was getting louder as he slowly lost his temper.

“Yeah well,” Faith grinned as she moved her hands from behind her back, “there is that I suppose.”

There was a short silence as the cops and the Lord Protector realised that somehow Faith had got her hands free. This short silence was follow by quite a long period when all that could be heard was the sounds of the cop’s bones being broken and their screams of pain. Seeing that Faith had the guards fully under control, Cordy raised her eyes to where the Lord Protector had turned tail and started to run. Gritting her teeth and with her hands still cuffed behind her back she set off after the man.

Quickly catching up to the Lord Protector, Cordy lowered her shoulder and crashed into his back pushing him off his feet. Landing on top of the guy, Cordy fought to get herself into an upright position sitting on the guy’s back. Once she’d immobilised the Lord Protector she sat and waited for Faith to finish her little battle.

Picking up a semi-conscious cop, Faith hit him so hard that his head snapped back and broke his neck, bonelessly he fell to the blood spattered floor and lay still. Taking a deep breath Faith stood for a moment and admired the neat little circle of dead cops lying around her.

“Better,” she sighed happily before kneeling down next to the corpses and going through their pockets.

Finding what she wanted, Faith unlocked the handcuff bracelets from around her wrists as she ran over to where Cordy sat on the Lord Protector. Coming to a halt next to her friend, Faith quickly unlocked Cordy’s handcuffs and handed her one of the cop’s pistols. Dismounting the Lord Protector, Cordy stood up and rubbed her wrists awkwardly as she held onto the pistol.

“So, what now?” Cordy asked.

“Hey,” Faith replied as she jammed the muzzle of her gun into the Lord Protectors neck just under his ear, “you’re the officer you tell me.”

“Will you just stop doing that!” Cordy snapped back, “So, I’m the officer, but you’re so much better at this stuff than I am, now stop fooling around and tell me what to do!”

“Just wanted to hear you admit it, Marine!” Faith sniggered before turning her attention back to the Lord Protector, “Okay, fat-boy, tell us where the Wizard is and where he keeps his Accumulator thing.”

“I’ll never talk!” cried the Lord Protector just before Faith shot him in the back of the head.

“JEEZ!” Cordy squealed, “I wish you’d tell me when you’re going to do something like that!”

“Sorry,” Faith climbed to her feet, “but he did say he’d never talk and I thought you’d get it.”

“Yeah, right, whatever,” Cordy stepped away from the expanding puddle of blood around the ex-Lord Protector, “so where to now?”

“Right,” Faith cast her eyes around the room, “this way.”

“Why this way in particular?” Cordy wanted to know.

“It's the direction the Protector guy came from when we arrived,” Faith explained.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Cordy followed Faith as she disappeared behind one of the floor to ceiling curtains.

“Look a door!” Faith called out.

Fighting her way through the folds of curtain Cordy did indeed see a door, a pretty tough looking door too, the sort of door that expected to stand between the outside world and something pretty important. Standing back, she watched Faith try the door handle.

“Locked,” Faith announced before inflicting some super strength mayhem on the door; there was the sound of metal being twisted out of shape before Faith added, “Unlocked!” and pushed the door open.

Stepping into the room, Faith noted the subdued lighting and also that she and Cordy were in a much smaller room. Advancing into the chamber Faith noted the banks of machines like computer banks from a sixties spy movie. Her sensitive ears picked up the sound of air-conditioning whirring away above her head punctuated by the occasional stutter of an old fashioned printer.

“What is this place?” Cordy asked from just behind Faith’s shoulder.

“Control room?” Faith guessed.

“Yeah but…” Cordy looked around, “…if it’s a control room shouldn’t we see loads of those guys in white lab coats clutching clipboards wandering around?”

“Oh yeah,” Faith nodded her head as they crept further into the room, “and guards an’ such.”

“Maybe a guy stroking a cat or something,” Cordy giggled.

“Look,” Faith sniggered, “I’ll be happy as long as they don’t have on of those laser things for cutting spies in half.”

“Okay,” Cordy drew in a deep breath, “so it doesn’t look like anything out of the movies, but…”

It was then they saw it; they’d just walked around the end of a line of computer banks complete with long spools of tape going backwards and forwards and little flashing lights. Coming out into a large open area where arm thick cables criss-crossed the floor it was there that they discovered the truth about the Great Wizard.

“It’s just like that thing in Babylon 5!” Cordy gasped.

“Say what?” Faith stopped and stared at Cordy.

“Sorry, I had a boyfriend once who was into sci-fi and I used to sit and watch stuff with him,” Cordy admitted, she caught the look Faith was giving her, “Hey, look I was young and I thought I was I love with the loser…”

“Okay, enough of your love life,” Faith signed, “why is this like The Babylon Five?”

“Not, ‘The Babylon Five’,” Cordy corrected, “‘Babylon 5’ anyway,” she could see that Faith’s patience was wearing thin, “there was this big city place run by computers and at the heart of it all was this guy,” Cordy pointed to where the Wizard hung, “just like that.”

Looking up at the wizard, Faith noted that his eyes did look like craters, just like the Witch had told them. Tubes and wires led to and from the wizard, they snaked across the floor where they connected with some more incomprehensible machinery.

“So that’s the Wizard,” Faith said quietly almost reverently.

“The wonderful Wizard of Oz,” Cordy agreed.

“He really don’t look much like a wiz,” Faith pointed out.

“If ever a Wiz there was…” Cordy paused and tilted her head to one side, “…hey do you hear that?”

0=0=0=0


	13. Chapter 13

13.

**Inside the Wizard’s Citadel, Emerald City.**

Turning quickly, Faith was just in time to shoot the first guard in the chest twice. A second guard stumbled over the body of the first but managed to get off a shot before Faith shot him too. The guard’s bullet flew wide of Faith’s head and ploughed into one of the computer banks; there was a loud *CRACK!* as the bullet smashed its way through the computer’s internal workings causing sparks to fly around the room and a small cloud of smoke to form over the damaged machine. Keeping the door from which the guards had appeared covered, Faith ran forward and started to pull the bodies clear of the door so she could close it. 

“Hey, try an’ find another way out,” Faith called urgently.

Raising her own pistol, Cordy checked that it was loaded before heading off to search for a way out of what was rapidly starting to look like a trap. It didn’t take her long to discover there wasn’t another way out.

“Faith!” Cordy called across the room, “We’re stuck in here!”

“God-damn-it!” Faith snapped as she pushed the door closed and looked for something to barricade it with, “I’m open to any suggestions ya might feel like making.”

“Erm!” Cordy looked around; she could see no cunningly hidden secret doors, no air vents big enough to crawl through and no windows; her earlier assessment had been spot on, they were in deep crap!

“Well?” Faith asked as she heaved one of the computer banks into position in front of the door.

“Nothing,” Cordy moved to stand next to Faith, “we’re stuck in here.”

With a cry of alarm, Cordelia ducked down as half a dozen bullets ripped through the door, some smashed their way into the computers, others crashed through the door and impacted against the opposite wall.

“I think those guys are playing for keeps,” Faith announced as she searched the two dead guards for spare magazines.

“Y’think?” Cordy asked before adding, “I’m too young and pretty to die, there has to be a way…”

Cordelia’s voice faded away as her eyes drifted over to where the wizard hung in his web of cables and tubes. Desperately she tried to remember the episodes of Babylon 5 she’d watched with Xander Harris in his smelly, damp, basement. God, she must have been so lame to date him. Telling herself to suck it up and not let her mind get off track, Cordelia concentrated on her memories of that one particular episode, the one were the guys from the space station thing had got inside the planet and found the old guy who controlled the entire world. He’d been dying and machine needed a replacement, if it didn’t get a replacement then the machine would…

“I got an idea,” Cordy announced as more bullets ripped through the door.

“Will it get us outta here?” Faith wanted to know as they hunkered down behind their barricade.

“I don’t know,” Cordy admitted, “but I doubt it’ll make things any worse,” she took a deep breath, “You hold them here, I’ll go do my thing, okay?”

“You’re the boss, Marine,” Faith called as she watched Cordy crawl away across the floor.

“Only when it suits you, Ranger!” Cordy called back.

As soon as she thought she was out of the line of fire from the rounds passing through the door, Cordelia stood up and ran towards where the wizard was suspended. For a moment she stood and looked up at the husk of a man that hung there surrounded by wires, cables and tubes, she looked at all the flashing lights and dials that obviously monitored the wizard’s health and that of the city. For a moment she wondered how anyone could let this happen to themselves. Slowly she started forward and began to disconnect the wizard from the machine, it didn’t take her long to realise that it would take her longer than the door would hold out to completely disconnect the man from the machine. There had to be another way; almost as she thought the thought a solution popped into her mind. Stepping away from the wizard she raised her pistol and pointed it at the old man.

“Sorry,” Cordy shrugged, “but I don’t want to die just yet.”

Aiming for the wizard’s head, Cordy emptied her pistol into him; things started to happen almost immediately. Lights flashed urgently, warning buzzers buzzed for attention, the lights in the room flickered and the tapes in the computer banks started to whiz backwards and forwards faster and faster until some of them broke and the spools span madly.

“What the hell did you do?” Faith demanded as she ran around the corner of the computer bank and slid to a halt next to Cordy; her eyes drifted up to where the headless body of the wizard hung covered in blood and brains, “Oh!” she gasped, “So that’s what ya had in mind.”

0=0=0=0

Deep under the citadel in a heavily reinforced bunker the Orgone Accumulator started to shiver and shake like a living thing. Warning lights flashed as the Accumulator’s internal temperature started to rise. Pressure valves vented clouds of super heated magical plasma, but still the internal pressures within the containment vessels continued to rise. The accumulator was still collecting the free floating magical Orgones that powered the city and gave the wizard his far reaching influence. But at the same time the wizard’s spells were starting to become unravelled all over Oz. 

The Wicked Witch felt it in her field headquarters behind the lines of her troops deployed around the Emerald City. Smiling she ordered her troops to start their advance. Soon her forces would blast their way into the city and overwhelm the city’s security forces. They'd be no match for her brave, flying monkeys, the Emerald City relied too heavily on magic for its defences and now the magic was rapidly fading.

But still, deep under the city the accumulator kept on accumulating, putting more and more pressure on the containment vassal. No mater how much pressure the safety valves released, it would never be enough because now the mind that had directed the titanic forces contained within the accumulator was splattered across the walls of the control room.

Of course neither Faith nor Cordy knew anything about this; but they were soon to find out.

0=0=0=0

“Yeah,” Cordy replied uncertainly as the room began to shake like they were in a minor earthquake, “shouldn’t you be guarding the door or something.”

“Pointless,” Faith admitted with a shrug, “there’s nothing I can do to stop ‘em getting in looks like our times up, Marine.”

“Hey!” Cordy looked at her comrade in arms in surprise, “Where’s that ‘never say die’ Ranger spirit,” Cordy tried to sound as if she meant it, “Where there’s life there’s…”

“WARNING! WARNING!” announced a voice like doom, “Orgone Accumulator containment vessel breach will occur in ten minutes. All personnel have ten minutes to reach minimum safe distance.”

“WHAT!” the two young women chorused as they stared at each other in shook.

“I thought ya said it couldn’t make things worse!” Faith demanded as the shaking got more violent and things started to fall over.

“How the hell was I supposed to know that it would all turn to crap?” Cordy demanded as the voice announced they only had nine minutes to reach minimum safe distance. “It didn’t happen like this on Babylon 5!”

“You mean ya based ya plan on some stupid, kid’s sci-fi TV show?” Faith screamed into Cordy’s face as the voice pointed out calmly they now only had eight minutes to get to the safe zone.

“Babylon 5 wasn’t a stupid kid’s show,” Cordy found herself defending Xander Harris’ choice of viewing pleasure, “it was well scripted and intelligent and for its time the special effects were ground breaking!”

“Hold it!” Faith cried over the sound of warning sirens and steam venting into the room as it rocked wildly from side to side, “Why are we arguing about this?”

“I don’t know,” Cordy replied hotly as the voice announced the passing of another minute, “you started it by saying B5 was a kid's show!”

“Whatever,” Faith shrugged resignedly as she realised the futility of trying to escape or even argue about whether Babylon 5 was a good show or not, “I don’t suppose ya know just how far minimum safe distance is?”

“Further than we could run in what…?” as if on cue the voice announced the passing of another minute, “Six minutes.”

“Yeah,” Faith caught hold of Cordy as she stumbled against her, “looks like everyone else has gone,” Faith pointed to the door that wasn’t being torn apart by bullets any more, “lets get outta here.”

Walking over to the door, Faith pushed the computer to one side and kicked open what remained of the door. Strolling out into the audience chamber they found it deserted by all but the dead. The room shook violently and pieces of plaster fell from the ceiling as they continued on to the centre of the room.

“I wonder if the witch would have sent us home,” Faith asked.

“I doubt it,” Cordy sulked, “she’d have tried to have us killed and we'd spend years fighting her until we won then we’d be stuck ruling the place.”

Another minute marched on by.

“Hell,” Faith took hold of Cordy’s hand and pulled her down to sit on the floor next to her, “that’s gloomy.”

“Yeah,” Cordy agreed, “and a major brake on my career plans too.”

“So what did ya wanna be?” Faith brushed plaster dust from her shoulder.

“First female Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff,” Cordy announced confidently, “you?”

“Oh nothin’ so grand,” Faith laughed as another minute waved goodbye over its shoulder, “I just wanted to retire with a load of medals and grow old an’ fat…maybe be a sheriff in a one horse town or somethin’.”

“Sheriff Lehane!” Cordy laughed.

“You have one minute to reach minimum safe distance,” the voice prompted.

“It’s been an honour and a privilege, Cordy,” Faith squeezed Cordelia’s hand.

“Right back at you, Faith” Cordy replied as she listened to the voice give the final count down; she sighed sadly as the voice continued its inexorable journey towards one and finally zero, she held on tightly to Faith’s hand and announced quite calmly, “I wish I’d drunk more champagne.”

“Zero,” said the voice.

0=0=0=0

The engineers who’d designed and built the bunker in which the Orgone Accumulator had been housed had done their work well. The bunker walls held together just long enough to channel nearly all the magical energy upwards. Of course Faith and Cordy were vaporised a fraction of a second after the containment vessel finally breached, as was most of the wizard’s palace. A hole was blasted in the dome above the palace and many nearby buildings were destroyed or badly damaged within the city itself.

However, the damage was nowhere near as devastating or wide spread as had been feared. In fact had Faith and Cordelia started to run when they’d got the first warning they’d have in all likelihood have reached ‘minimum safe distance’. The Wicked Witch’s troops who were advancing on the Emerald City as the Accumulator exploded received casualties as flying monkeys tumbled out of the air after being hit by the shock wave. However, these losses were slight and did little to stem their advance.

Closing with the city, flying monkeys from the 103rd’s Combat Engineer Battalion rushed forward with demolition charges and blew down the city’s gates. Before the smoke had cleared, assault troopers had entered the city and gunned down the few members of the city’s security forces that tried to resist. Within ten minutes of entering the city all resistance had ceased and the flying monkeys had joined the citizens in their rescue operations.

True to her word the Wicked Witch did try to find Faith and Cordelia and once the truth of their actions was learnt she directed that a statue should be built in the main plaza to commemorate their bravery; she also directed that High Schools should be named after the two heroes. Secretly the Wicked Witch was glad that the two human women had died as she’d no real idea if she could have sent them home. In fact she doubted that even the Wizard himself could have sent them on their way. No, she told herself, it was better this way the human women were heroes and heroes would have objected to her plans and the long retirement for which all her plans for the last hundred years would have been for nought had she had to fight the heroes.

But sometimes, in later years, as she sat on her sun lounger sipping a tall, cool drink on a beach somewhere, she’d remember Faith and Cordy and shed a little green tear.

0=0=0=0

**Kansas.**

The Springfield Volunteer Fire Department truck sped along the bumpy country road, every so often the driver would have to swerve to avoid a piece of wreckage left behind by the storm. The twister had come out of nowhere, it had been one of the largest that anyone could remember, but it had done relatively little damage. Some out lying farms had been hit badly but the twister hadn’t come anywhere near Springfield itself.

Truck Number Two and its crew had been despatched to investigate reports of a helicopter that had crashed near one of the narrow country roads that criss-crossed the area. Coming over a slight rise the crew saw the small, bug-like chopper embedded nose down in a drainage ditch. The fire truck screeched to a halt in a cloud of dust and fire fighters jumped down from the cab and quickly got to work. After deploying hoses in case of fire, two firefighters with paramedic training advanced on the helo.

Peering into the cab of the chopper the firefighters saw the crew slumped over the controls. The firefighters looked at each other hopefully, the two women where still strapped into their seats and they didn’t appear to be suffering from any major trauma. Reaching out to the female soldier in the passenger seat one of the firefighters checked her pulse.

“We've got a live one!” he called to his buddy.

“Same here,” the other firefighter confirmed as his patient groaned and rolled her head. “Hold on Marine,” the firefighter quickly and efficiently slipped a brace around Cordy’s neck, “we’ll soon have you out of here.”

More firefighters with stretchers and tools rushed over to help pull the two women from the chopper. An ambulance was called and swiftly arrived just as Cordy and Faith were pulled from the wreckage. As they carried the downed pilot and her passenger to the ambulance, Lt Cordelia Chase, USMC was heard to moan; “Champagne…”

_So goodbye yellow brick road  
Where the dogs of society howl  
You can't plant me in your penthouse  
I'm going back to my plough_

_Back to the howling old owl in the woods  
Hunting the horny back toad  
Oh I've finally decided my future lies  
Beyond the yellow brick road.*_

The End.

*: 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road', Sir Elton John.

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